Monday, July 11, 2011

Your Cosmic Tractor Beam

A Bigger-Than-the-Sky Post

© 2009 - 2011 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

Like everything in life, astrology has a bigger context—a perspective that’s even bigger than the sky. This is the first in a series of periodic posts, not specific to astrology, but to the larger issues of why we’re here: the laws of dynamic attraction, soul evolution, the workings of karma and reincarnation, just to name a few. Some of these articles were originally written for my spirited living blog, Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. I suspect many Radical readers will resonate to these posts and wanted to share them with you. I think they fit right into the Radical Virgo blog’s habit of making round-trips from Earth to Sky and back—and to the idea that there are even bigger universes to explore—and to which we also belong.


here is a law of dynamic attraction in the universe where like attracts like. If being positive didn’t simply feel good on its own, this magnetic quality of “good draws good” is the other reason for adopting a permanently upbeat attitude.

I want to take it a step further. Being yourself—authentically you—is one of the most difficult challenges of being human. No man, woman, or child is an island. We need to belong, and the truly happy person has not just friends and family, but community. All these levels of connection are essential to joy.

Yet we so often give parts of ourselves away to meet the energy of others in the middle, like politicians who tone down their stances and beliefs in order to appeal to the most voters. Our blending behavior creates a bigger zone of safety and acceptance in our minds. But does it really?

Holding Back: A Survival Strategy

I feel especially qualified to talk about holding back your true energy or resonance to blend in. I’ve been trained to do it since childhood. I was adopted when I was three weeks old, and my parents were very different from me in a number of essential ways. We just weren’t wired the same. Yet, they were so loving; I didn’t even realize it until I grew up! Mom and Dad made me feel like I truly I belonged, and I was willing to sacrifice some of my individuality for that sweet prize. As I started coming into my own in my twenties, I was stunned to find out that my way of being, based on their programming, was far different from who I really am. My poor mother didn’t know what hit when my move to California, the women’s movement, the ‘70s and my first group therapy experience all conspired to steal her daughter right out from under her—or the one she thought she knew and had molded.

To be fair, my adoptive parents’ differences from me were also a big plus. I am naturally a non-stop thinker—very mental. They were down-to-earth, practical, and totally heart people. My development would have been lopsided, had I grown up in my birth family. My birth mom made my constant cogitation look like child’s play! (I was reunited with my family of origin in my late thirties, and I have a perspective that not many people enjoy of being able to see which parts of me came from nurture rather than nature.)

Still, “not being you” can harm you in the end.

Drawbacks of the Quick-Change Artist

With all my talents for blending in, I had a knack for finding the wrong relationships, whether friends or prospective mates. There was nothing wrong with these individuals—or me. We were just mismatched at an energetic and evolutionary level. I was not putting out who I really am, but rather, morphing myself, like a chameleon, to fit the energy of the people I wanted to please or whose lives I wanted to be a part of. Frankly, I didn’t think there was anyone like me out there! Never having met people on my beam, I didn’t believe they existed.

What I didn’t understand: I could not draw to me anyone like me because I wasn’t being me.

"Banding” Together

Ultimately, I learned that as energy beings, we emit a frequency of our true selves that is like a radio wave. When we’re “on,” being our essential selves, people on the same bandwidth are drawn to us. When we are broadcasting our frequency, others on the same or nearby frequencies pick up on it and hone onto our signal like a tractor beam.

This all happens in the ethers. It’s invisible—you can’t see or hear it while it’s happening—then presto! Some new person pops into your life who’s an obvious member of your soul family. We hear the expression “putting yourself out there.” That’s what it takes to make energy-based matches with like-minded, compatible people. Only it’s not so much a matter of pushing your energy outward. It’s more about being centered in who you are and allowing the universe to draw in the relationships you need.

It’s so human to make the same mistakes over again. If we’re growing, we make them at higher levels, getting the same lesson more clearly each time. I still morph myself—sometimes all but turn myself inside out—to fit in. It often happens unconsciously, when more kindred spirits aren’t available to play or when I don’t know a person or group well enough yet to realize we’re on a different frequency. Then, of course, there are all the many things we can want from someone or a group of some ones that interfere with being in integrity: love, sex, career advancement, fun.

Recently, I became aware that I was being a contortion artist in some relationships and had to reassess my participation. When I decided to let go of what was becoming negative for me, draining, and far from an energetic match, I created the usual void left by surrender.

While I was still making the decision to let go of my latest energetic mismatches, someone literally honed in on me when I returned to my own center and self. Out of the blue, I got an e-mail from a reader of one of my astrology articles that I had written 17 years prior, a perennial favorite. Soon we were e-mailing like mad and could not believe how much we think alike and share the same views of Spirit, the world, and how to live in it. It was simply exhilarating, and a true testimony to why it is so important to be true to yourself. It takes courage and trust. It’s worth it! This “chance” encounter was the catalyst for creating this blog just after Spring Equinox 2009, named after the article that had touched him so deeply, “The Radical Virgo.”

Energetic Shift

In the larger sense, the shift we all need to make is to do less and be more. We are called human beings, not human doings. While I know the importance of frequent meditation—how it strengthens our energy field and helps us resonate to our core selves, I still have a hard time with the discipline of doing it. I even try to “do” when the practice calls for me just to “be” there. Show up, sit in my meditation spot, and close my eyes. What could be simpler? But “human doings” can’t seem to accept that our value is inherent. Too easy? How the human mind loves to complicate things.

If you’re a helper and a person of compassion, my closing thought is for you. It’s an expression I’ve heard about what it is to really help others—and ourselves.

It’s not what you do; it’s who you are.


Photo Credit: BEAM © magann -

Thanks to Leslie Smith of Inner Sanctuary blog for first publication of this article.


Anonymous said...

What a magnificent article, Joyce!

Those times when we fully realize the pain that fitting in causes are the moments we stand at the precipice. If only more of us would jump instead of giving in to our fear of flying.

Angela Artemis/Powered by Intuition said...

Great article on the value of being our authentic selves.

I was not authentically me when I married my husband and consequently couldn't keep up the "fiction." it's no surprise that we ended up divorced.

It takes more energy to be someone else than it does to be who we truly are!

Joyce Mason said...

CJ, what a beautiful way of putting it. Being ourselves is the ultimate fear of flying but also true exhilaration. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Angela, you're so right about the energy it takes to be someone else. Fiction permeates our culture when it comes to our images of love and romance, ruled by Neptune and Hollywood. I hope I live to see the day where there's a shift away from projecting our ideal onto the other person, who must then "act" to live up to it and onto taking time to get to know the Real Person. Then real people will partner, not their imaginary images, and the divorce rate will plummet. Thanks for your time and insights.

Mandi Lockley said...

Really great article Joyce, thank you.

It's hard to 'be yourself', I think, when other people expect you to be a a certain type of someone that suits the role they see you in (the amiable friend, the helpful employee etc). It's a brave thing to be yourself and you risk 'pissing them off', but I find that the more and more you come into yourself, the more and more those people who want you to be a certain way just tend to either accept you or drop out of your life in a natural, conflict free kind of way. Do you find that?

Joyce Mason said...

Hi, Mandi! The universe provides an amazing editing process that way. As you say, people either accept who you are or drift off. Personally, I want spend most of my time with people who like me for who I really am. Takes a lot of worry out of who we should "let close." If they don't "get you" or appreciate you, ultimately they will no longer be interested. The tricky part is helping the people who still project their needs or illusions on us of who we are/should be. They sometimes need a little help seeing it's not a fit. Having a lot of Libra in my chart, it's very difficult for me to have to be that editor, even with Virgo Sun! I'm always glad when the lack of fit process is a mutual realization, happens naturally and both people are comfortable with it.

That's a gift we don't always get, but it seems to be easier as I mature, partly because I don't get drawn into relationships that are off-beam as often--or where the energy differences are as dramatic.

As always, your contributions to the dialogue here are much appreciated!

Joyce Mason said...

Dear Natural Sage,

Your screen name fits you!:)

I love your nuggeting of the concepts in this article: "It isn't the work we do, the things we know, but what resonates!" I've had experiences as recent as within the last 24 hours that underscore this truth. Also, while we may be initially attracted to some people for learning or growth, if deep resonance isn't there, it's a short-term acquaintance. Depending on who we are as individuals, certain things will resonate in our energy fields as deal breakers for or against deeper levels of intimacy. For me, it has a lot to do with respect with open and loving kindness in communication. Isn't it great the way "the system" works?

BTW, you're entered into the Valentine's month comment contest. See current, top "Be Mine" post. And thanks so much for taking time to comment.