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Post © 2023 by Joyce Mason
We all know them: people so fluent in
astrology, we can barely believe that they aren’t doing readings or aren’t on
the programs of astrology conferences. I am here to defend their right to
refuse to go there. I have become one of them.
Astrology is a tool and a language. How much we use or talk shop
about that tool depends on our circumstances and how much we’re drawn to do so.
For many people, being a perpetual astrology student is a lot more comfortable
than becoming a pro. Receiving money for astrological services requires a
certain self-confidence that many people just can't conjure. It’s a field of
ever expanding knowledge. It’s easy to feel like you don’t know enough. Even
among those who leap that hurdle, it’s a growth curve for many to become comfortable with monetizing their guidance, even with the considerable cost of
astrological education. Most people who have done it know that building a
practice to the level of full-time income takes time and is often never
achieved. The amount of astrological consulting many good astrologers can do
depends on back-up resources and whether or not they have to earn that money
themselves. There’s only so much time and energy.
Speaking of energy, consultations demand an abundance of it,
especially for those who do it in an intuitive way. It can become overwhelming.
And there’s the challenge of keeping firm boundaries and intentions. I never
want to become responsible for someone’s decisions and karma. I only want to
present what the stars have to say about what a certain time and cycle is good
for-- and how it asks a person to learn and grow. Often clients don’t see it
that way, and when I did readings professionally, I was sure to make my
literature and discussions included the fact that I don’t do predictions. Each
individual has the freedom to make choices within realm of astrological
influences. I never want to take away or impede the growth that comes from
exercising free will and feeling the personal power that comes from grappling
with decisions. Yet there are still many people who think that predicting the
future is the only reason to see an astrologer. I have been asked how many of
my predictions come true. None because I don’t make them. The feedback I get
runs along the lines of being on target about what people have to consider,
face and/or have an opening to go for. My favorite compliment was, “You’re the
real deal.” Did I ever get it wrong? I’m
sure. Everyone has off days.
For a
larger personal context, I am embarrassed to admit that I actually verbalized
as a young college student my desire to save the world. How naïve. I was taught
that if you have gifts, you share them. I never considered that I had any say as
to what degree.
I started learning
astrology to know myself and others. To understand my own dilemmas and
tendencies, especially those which seemed to be repetitive cycles that left me
going in circles, getting nowhere. Seeing clients broadened my experience. Ironically,
my trademark was “going deep.” I see the heart of situations. People open up to
me.
I never became a full-time astrologer because I had an
excellent government job with benefits that people nowadays can only dream of.
It was a no-brainer to stay the course until retirement. Many days I would have
rather been writing or doing astrology. (I figured out a way to do as much as
possible at my “regular” job. I always gravitated toward jobs that involved my
writing skills, and once people know you’re an astrologer, the star talk is
frequent.) I stuck it out. It was the best decision I ever made. I just had
inklings back then but the medical benefits and pension would turn out to be
lifesavers.
When my husband’s muscular dystrophy advanced to the stage
where he lost his mobility and I became his caregiver, I willingly gave up many
things I had held dear up to that point, including my astrology practice. The
full stop was like using Mercury Retrograde for one of its high-yield
activities—pausing to reconsider.
I am a very mental person often to my own detriment. I was
about to be thrown into extremely physical work left little time to look at
charts in my mind or on my devices, much less to do the mental gymnastics of
interpreting their geometry. Full-time caregiving is taxing beyond belief,
especially when help is expensive and resources are limited—and when a small
woman is caring for a full-size man. Frankly, I was in survival mode for the
next four years until my husband passed, wondering every day how I’d just get
through it. At one time, astrology and analyzing my life, thoughts and feelings
according to astrological cycles fed me. In this new situation, it did nothing
for me. I sometimes wondered how I could go from living and breathing astrology
to setting it aside.
As someone with a lot of Libra in my chart, I finally came
to the conclusion that like anything else, many people’s relationship with
astrology goes through periods of changing balance. It has seasons. I no longer
like to analyze every little thing through a figurative telescope. I like to
look at bigger cycles and to check in on my chart, or that of my loved ones,
when it feels like it would be helpful. I started using other tools more, just
because they felt timely. Many of my friends who know less astrology often know
more about what’s going on in the sky than I do.
I never wanted to climb the ladder in my government career
either. The thought of being a manager made me cringe. I was on a business trip
with a male colleague and friend. We were having lunch at a restaurant one day
about the time the manager test had been announced. He was encouraging me to
apply. When I said I wasn’t interested, he balked. “But you’d be so good at
it.” I told him, perhaps a little too loudly, “Just because I’m good at sex
doesn’t mean I want to be a prostitute.” We laughed about that one-liner for
years and how blurting it out turned some heads at the café. Obviously I gave
myself permission to limit myself to what felt right in one of my careers. A
big consideration was that I couldn’t write or do astrology if I had more
responsibility on my day job. It took me years to understand that I did not owe
all of my life’s blood to any of my work—and giving my all in my marriage so
completely showed me the consequences. Finally I got to the place where I
started saving myself first. What a concept!
Now I only feel like using astrology for myself and my close
friends and family—or writing about it when the spirit moves. I just want to
share what I have learned about life, which the stars often illustrate so
eloquently. I don't want to predict or control my life, just to understand how to get the best out of what I've got. I relish the role of being an elder in my family. I learned much just
living life and vicariously with my clients. Now I like to share those
insights with those dear when the opportunity comes up. When it comes to astrological
information, they usually seek it from me. I seldom offer.
The irony? My favorite class as an astrology student was
Family Astrology. We compared charts of close relatives and the patterns were
astonishing. This is one of the earliest classes I ever took circa 1982. Now I
have come full circle.
“Family astrology” is still my favorite class. Maybe this
was all deeper than I realized. Maybe part of my life’s purpose was simply to
get to this point where astrology is not an active pursuit but a part of me
that pops out to help heal my tribe as needed.
~~~
