Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Auntie Joyce: “Love Thy Astrological Neighbor—You’re Alike!"

© 2011 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

Most of us learned “love thy neighbor” as the Golden Rule at our mother’s knee. It was repeated to us at Sunday school or catechism and/or by other relatives and teachers till our ears burned with boredom. “Do unto others as you would have others to unto you.” As kids, many of us couldn’t figure out what doing unto meant, but eventually, we deciphered that we were supposed to be nice to others … and at least not sock someone just because they pissed us off on the playground.

Then many of us grew up and took up astrological, metaphysical, New Age, or some combo of new-fangled spiritual beliefs. (This must be true, otherwise we would not be meeting like this on The Radical Virgo.) We still have our Golden Rule. We’re told we are each other! Life is supposed to be some big Pisces picnic.

Auntie Joyce was driving her car the other day, paying attention to the voices in her head more than the road, for which she is ashamed but grateful she was Touched by an Angel and didn’t drive into a ditch. Or, God forbid, cause someone else to swerve because she was wool gathering.

Auntie was musing on the old “we are each other” thing when the truth of it came to her like a direct pipeline from the Divine. She realized how similar we are to our preceding, next-door neighbor in the zodiac! Since this is The Radical Virgo, this revelation starts with Virgo and spins around the circle of twelve. Enjoy this new way to love thy astrological neighbor!

Virgo -  A Virgo is just a Leo with stage fright.

Libra A Libra is just a Virgo who wants the perfect relationship.

Scorpio -  A Scorpio is just a Libra who wants the perfect relationship all to him- or herselfor else.

Sagittarius A Sagittarius is just a Scorpio who wants to learn and blab about the mysteries of life, not keep them secret.

Capricorn A Capricorn is just a Sag who wants to make money, corporations and/or institutions out of everything s/he has learned.

Aquarius – An Aquarius is just a Capricorn who wants to tear down the walls of the corporations or institutions and let everyone make the money and make a difference.

Pisces – A Pisces is just an Aquarius who lives in the world without walls and doesn’t know the difference.

Aries – An Aries is just a Pisces who got fed up living with everyone and took off on his or her own.

Taurus A Taurus is just an Aries who’s tired of pioneering, crusading, and getting there first who just wants a lazy, luxurious sit.

Gemini A Gemini is just a Taurus who luxuriates in yakking and is too fidgety to sit.

Cancer -  A Cancer is just a Gemini who only wants to talk to family.

Leo A Leo is just a Cancer who’s sick of talking to family and has taken his or her act to the stage where s/he can be admired and actually listened to.

We all know Leos fancy themselves kings and are connected with the color gold, so what better place to end this love-in on The Golden Rule. (Should we sing Kumbaya?)

Now go love your neighbor. Just be sure his or her partner doesn’t find out!


Auntie Joyce is the alter ego of astrologer Joyce Mason. Auntie comes out of mothballs or trance any time Joyce has to write something too goofy or mean for her Virgo/Libra sensibilities.

Photo Credit: Fortune Cookie © Terrance Emerson | Dreamstime.com


Anonymous said...

Leo with a stage fright - not a bad description for a Virgo. I would love to be more like a Leo - I'm secretly jalous of their confidence. But I go very well with Leos. Go figure. About the socking in the playground? Never did it. I had a bigger Scorpio sister - with a reputation. And I wasn't afraid to use it ...
Nice, Joyce!

Joyce Mason said...

Hi, Natalie! Don't be too envious of that Leo "self-confidence." Behind many Leos is actually a lack of self-confidence and the stagy presence is an overcompensation. A Leo told me recently that she only feels confident in front of a crowd. (I wish I were one, too, especially when I have to give at talk.)

A Scorpio sister must have been a very handy thing to have growing up! :)

Donna Cunningham said...

Hi, Joyce! Your next-door-neighbors post is hilarious!

My early mentor Rod Chase taught me something similar. He said that in order to understand the hidden motive of a sign, put that sign on the Ascendant of a chart wheel and look at the sign just behind it on the 12th house of the wheel.

For instance to understand what Sag's underlying motive is in preaching religion, think about Scorpio on the 12th, and know that it's all about control. Donna

Joyce Mason said...

Donna, so glad you enjoyed Auntie Joyce's astro-neighbor shtick. I love the tip about putting the neighbor in the 12th to discern motivation via the previous sign. Never knew Rod Chase, but I thank him--and apparently my alter ego, Auntie Joyce, was channeling him ... with a touch of Swami Beyondananda. (I hope I'm not the only person who loves reading Swami's Daily Laughsitive on The Radical Virgo. Sometimes I can't wait till midnight to hear what he'll say next.)