Years ago, I was the primary scriptwriter for the holiday entertainment at my wild and crazy
workplace. We were all twenty- and thirty-somethings. It was the ‘80s and many
of us drank too much, among other youthful indiscretions. Our anything-goes
entertainment was double-over hilarity.
One of the traditions
I started was to create what I called Kinky Carols, where we twisted the verses
of traditional holiday tunes to suit our whims. This is an example, hot off the
presses, just in time for this ChrismaSolstiHanuzkaa. (OK, late for Hanukkah,
but it started so early this year!)
To avoid the annoying
repetition referenced in Carols
and Tinsel Time Tunes ‘Round the Zodiac, this just gives the 12 gifts once. You know how it’s done, but in case your non-Astro friends don’t know
what you’re talking about, a handy dictionary decoding the Astrobabble
is provided at the end. Feel free sing it at the top of your lungs during your
astrology group social events this season. Your plus-ones will probably
appreciate the translation, so they can laugh at the jokes with you.
The Twelve Days of Solstice
On the first day of
Solstice my true love gave to me,
a Star for the top of
the tree.
On the Second Day …
Two Vedic gems
On the Third Day: Three
sextiles
On the Fourth Day:
Four Grand Trines
On the Fifth Day:
Five TMA’s
On the Sixth Day: Six
UAC tickets
On the Seventh Day:
Seven Venus Transits
On the Eighth Day:
Eight Astrodramas
On the Ninth Day:
Nine Parts of Fortune
On the Tenth Day: Ten
Exaltations
On the Eleventh Day: Eleven
Jupiters
On the Twelfth Day: 12
Mercs Unretro-ed
TERMS UNWRAPPED FOR
NON-ASTROLOGERS
Vedic gems: Stones worn in Vedic or Indian astrology to
strengthen the energy of a certain planet. For instance, Jupiter is supported
by yellow topaz.
Sextile: A geometric angle of 60-degrees between
planets that makes the pair compatible and these parts of yourself
complementary.
Grand Trine: A 120-angle between planets that results in
flowing sympathy between them and parts of yourself operating easily together.
TMA: The Mountain Astrologer, the premier astrology
magazine on the planet.
Venus: Planet of love and money, among other things,
its transits often bring good things in those categories.
UAC Tickets: The
United Astrology Conference (UAC) occurs every 4 years in rotating cities and
is the international gathering of astrologers from all over the planet.
Exaltations: A
planet considered to be in its best placement in a certain sign. Good stars!
Part of Fortune: A point in an astrology chart considered
fortunate.
Astrodrama: A fun
way of learning from astrology by acting out planets in their signs and their
interactions with one another. Similar to the psychological practice of psycho-drama.
The planets dialogue with each other, and insights are gained from the actors
embodying the planetary energies.
Jupiter: Often
called the Great Benefic, Jupiter transits can bring wonderful opportunities,
blessings and chances for expansion.
Merc Unretro-ed. Refers
to Mercury Retrograde, a period of 3.5 weeks that occurs 3-4 times a year where
communications, short trips and thinking are often glitchy, “off”—or mistakes
are made or caught. Astrologers (and most people) really find Mercury Retrograde
annoying.
~~~
Photo Credit: Christmas
Fir Water Color © soleg – fotolia.com
1 comment:
Love it, Joyce. Thanks for sharing.
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