Article © 2018 by Joyce Mason
Is the placement of
Valentine’s Day in the heart of winter under the sign of Aquarius just a
Gregorian calendar coincidence? Or is there some symbolism in this sweet day’s
Aquarian “birthday” that would enrich us to ponder?
For starters, Valentine’s day is a very old tradition. The
first Valentine’s Day was celebrated in 496. It’s believed to have originated
from a Roman festival called Lupercalia.
The celebration was in the middle of
February, as it is now, then considered the official start of springtime. On
further examination of the switch from Julian to the Gregorian calendar in the
14th century, there is only a 10 day difference between the two. No
matter which calendar was being used at the time, Valentine’s Day still in what
we now call February in the heart of winter. For more background, enjoy The
History of Valentine’s Day.
Aquarius—Really?
At first blush, Aquarius seems like a strange Sun sign for
a holiday that is often intimate and somewhat predictable in its patterns of
observation. Aquarian people are often detached, freedom-seeking, anything but
predictable and friendly to the point of riling up partners with their “flirtations”
and nonconformist ways. (In my youth, most of the men in my life with strong
Aquarian placements were bound to embarrass me at least once, often more, at every
social occasion. They seemed to relish ignoring the boundaries of consensus
behavior, getting a great bang out of watching people squirm with discomfort
over their open slaughter of sacred cows.)
If Aquarian people’s tendencies translate to Aquarian holidays,
this hardly sounds like a guy or gal ready to pledge his or her undying love in
a traditional way with hearts and flowers or romantic dinners. Aquarius might
be more likely to forget the Day, focused on saving the world, or let any
mention of celebration slip until s/he’s about to deliver a unique, unusual or
perhaps downright weird surprise. If s/he believes in celebrating it at all. But just as people are more than their Sun sign,
Valentine’s Day is more complex. What’s really interesting:
Many Aquarian characteristics enhance if not solidify relationships. Some Aquarian tendencies are hidden code to making a lasting love work.
The Code and the Dance
Friendship. We often hear close couples refer to each other as “my best friend.” Love has been my teacher in life, and I don’t mind sharing that it was a bumpy road almost all the way to my Chiron Return. One thing I’m sure of: good relationships have a strong component of friendship. When things get rocky, ask yourself how you’d treat your dearest friends, and if you aren’t applying this treatment to your partner, apply relationship first aid instead. Leave all his or her annoying habits behind and your vicious circle reaction patterns, take a deep breath, and remember this is your most intimate friend who deserves the royal treatment we reserve for the people who support us most. Aquarius values friendship above all. Valentine’s Day holds that hint for happiness.
Independence. Another Aquarian characteristic that plays firmly into
making a relationship work is independence. To those who are young or less
experienced in love, that sounds like a complete conundrum. Isn’t true love
supposed to be about merging?
Yes and no. Committed relationship is the agreement of two
individuals to be there for each other, to support each other in life’s ups and
downs. To travel down life’s highway together, to make the trilogy of clichés
complete.
When my husband and I decided to have our marriage
“blessed” in the Catholic church, our spiritual adviser, a hip Franciscan priest, drew us
this great illustration of what is a relationship. It is simple and profound
when seen on paper.
The circles don't subsume each other or blend into a common pool. There is you, me--and there is the living entity of the relationship--you and me interacting and sharing goals or direction together. It isn't all of you. It's part of you.
The Both of Merging and Separating. Thanks to fairy tales that promise happily ever after and
various kinds of romantic melodrama that have been around since before villains
tied maidens to railroad tracks, our concept of love is frankly warped. We are
addicted to the romance and honeymoon and initial high of the merger but the
work it takes to be a couple and still be you? Not so much. Like anything else
in life, relationship requires balance. Merging and individuation are a dance,
one that’s essential for a partnership to work. If your beloved changes so much
to merge into the soup of Oneness, you lose the person you fell in love with in
the first place. He or she loses self, and eventually, that leads to bitterness
and erosion of the relationship. Anyone who has ever experienced feeling
smothered in love knows just what I mean. No breathing space. Aquarius bears
water (feelings) but is an air sign (breathing). Relationships must come up for
air and give breathing room or risk drowning.
Unique Relationships, Not Necessarily "By the Book." Finally, the individualistic tendencies of Aquarius are
another hidden hint about relationship successes. If we pattern marriage or any
other kind of “institutional” partnership on a pattern that’s too traditional,
we again smother individualism. Experts find that the most successful ones have
some tried-and-true, universal values like faithfulness, honesty and mutual
encouragement. Otherwise, make marriage or marriage-like commitments fit you.
It’s risky to try to make your partnership fit into a box that society packed
eons ago. For instance, some couples do dual career, long-distance
relationships just fine. Others would prefer separate residences and living
together in short spurts. Childlessness has been a more accepted option for a
long time. Take the legal protections and other goodies from the piece of paper
and custom design the rest of the elements, just like most of us would do with our
homes. In fact relationship is our home more than the four walls, because you
take it with you wherever you live.
May your Valentine’s Day be full of the best of Aquarius
Sun: innovation, communication, mutual intuition, tolerance and unexpected
delightful surprises.
~~~
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