Friday, May 23, 2014

Humor: How the Signs "Do" Spring

Article © 2014 by Joyce Mason

Aries Springs into Ram Time

We’re steeped in the last leg of spring in the Northern hemisphere. Memorial Day weekend reminds us that summer is around the corner. With all the weather patterns interrupted by climate change, this spring has just not been itself for some of us. For instance, in Sacramento in Northern California where I live, we nearly skipped spring and went straight into summer. Yet there is comic relief to be found between the sneezes of the pollen sensitive, whatever their Astro-orientation. Here’s what I’ve observed on how the various zodiac signs "do" spring.

Aries: Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead. MY season! MINE!

Taurus: (Drunk on perfume) So many flowers to stop and smell.

Gemini: Birthday time! Can’t talk now. Gotta call everyone I know for the party. Wait. I’ve got e-mail.

Cancer: Soon the children will be home for summer vacation, out of the clutches of those teachers. My face hurts from smiling. Better bake ahead and freeze the cookies before it gets too hot and my kitchen’s what’s baking.

Leo: It’s almost SUNmer!

Virgo: My allergies have laid me so low, I can barely function. And what about wearing/using all those white handkerchiefs and tissues before Memorial Day?

Libra: Please move over, Aries. Since it’s the time of year “a young man’s fancy turns to love,” spring is my season, too.

Scorpio:  (Wearing sunglasses) Too damn light and it gets worse till autumn. Talk to me then.

Sagittarius: Time to travel when the weather’s decent and before we get to high season and it costs more! I can go more places on my dollar.

Capricorn: Too close to the end of the fiscal year. My nose is shorter from the grindstone and trying to balance the books.

Aquarius: Winter’s over, people are coming out to do things like party and protest. Let’s get crazy!

Pisces: It is forever spring in bliss—or whatever season you choose to create. Ommmm.


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