Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Humor: Auntie Joyce’s Astro-Aphorisms

© 2010 by Joyce Mason

I channeled these original aphorisms for you! Unless otherwise noted, they are original quotes by yours truly. Please be sure to credit me, if you share them. That means miming quote marks by crooking two fingers on each side of your mouth before saying.

Speaking of saying, I say if you can’t have wisdom, have fun!

~Auntie Joyce

Aries: Dive in head second. Use first.

Taurus: Find the sense in sensuality.

Gemini: If at first you don’t succeed, change personalities.

Cancer: Look before you weep.

Leo: It’s nice to be king, but you'll get crowned.

Virgo: You, de-serve more.

Cultural Dictionary
aphorism [(af-uh-riz-uhm)]
A concise and often witty statement of wisdom or opinion, such as “Children should be seen and not heard,” or “People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.”
Libra: “It takes two to tangle.” ~ Mary Mason, my mom (a Libra)

Scorpio: Just once in awhile, pass-shun.

Sagittarius: Only God and Google know it all.

Capricorn: Let Goat and let got.

Aquarius: Spare the lightning rod and spoil the riled.

Pisces: Pack a first aid kit in case of mergency.

Photo Credit: USE YOUR HEAD   Danabeth55...

Want more of Auntie's Aphorisms? Visit #2 and #3.


Anne Whitaker said...

Pisces : "Pack a first aid kit in case of mergency" is my favourite! Very applicable for all floating around in Neptune transits too....

Well channelled, Auntie Joyce!

Anne x

Joyce Mason said...

Thanks, Anne! It would be hard for me to pick a fave with Mercury in Libra. I have to admit, I was laughing from the gate with Aries. I sure have some silly muses! This all happened under the hair dryer at the beauty salon while a conditioning treatment was cooking on my head. My hair dresser is a sister Virgo with a Pisces Moon and one of my favorite people. I'm sure the focus on my head--and her shop full of all Virgos but one stylist set "conditions" right for a brainstorm!

Susannah said...

Love them!

Especially - Gemini: If at first you don’t succeed, change personalities.

Wonderful - thanks Auntie Joyce! :-)

Joyce Mason said...

And thank you for sharing your enjoyment, Susannah! I suppose it says something about us, which one we like most. I'll go ponder that when I figure out which one is my fave. I'm very partial to the Momism. As you know, she was a malapropping riot. As I live with some major natal Neptune aspects, I have to agree with Anne that I could use one of those Pisces Mergency First Aid Kits, LOL!

Eileen Williams said...

Joyce, these are more than funny... they're FANTASTIC!
You've really combined your formidable wit and wisdom to come up these. I"ll be sure and recommend this post to all my friends who are into astrology. Being a goat myself, I'm bleating with glee!

Pop Art Diva Enterprises said...

Joyce - these are utterly hilarious, all of them appropriate to the signs. My favorite is Gemini too, I laughed out loud and scared StinkyTinkyCat right off the couch - you should have heard the thump! (Then you should have seen the look on his face!)

I think we need to do a cartoon of you "channeling" (remember Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent"?) and you should do this on a regular basis - maybe one a month for that particular sign. Then put them in a cute little book (illustrated by me, of course LOL!) sometime.

Joyce Mason said...

Thanks, Eileen! I like firing up the glee squad.

PopArt, I LOVE the Karnac idea. He's always been one of my favorite characters. Did a take-off on him in a holiday entertainment extravaganza once, of course with ridiculous connections between the answers and questions. If Auntie Joyce finds her channel is urging her to do this on a regular basis, you're on!