Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Radical Reposts: Humor – Wiseacres of Astro-Wisdom!



 
Auntie Joyce Channeling Quotables

  

Auntie Joyce’s Astro Aphorisms

Humor from under the Hair Dryer


I channeled these original aphorisms for you! Unless otherwise noted, they are original quotes by yours truly … Speaking of saying, I say if you can’t have wisdom, have fun!

Pisces: Pack a first aid kit in case of mergency.


Aries: Easier done than said. Taurus: Here today, here tomorrow. Gemini: East is East, and West is West, and never the twin shall meet ...

Originals by Auntie Joyce, except as noted. Aries: “The quicker the faster.” ~ Sr. Stella, slap happy 1950s nun and knuckle rapper. Speciality? The Ruler. (And Auntie Joyce does not mean “chart ruler.”)



Quotes for the Signs


While the Quotes series could be a post on its own, the irony of how famous words to live by match
astrological energies is often hilarious and, at the same time, profound. Therefore, I voted to put them into the humorous Astro-wisdom category.

Gemini: People change and forget to tell each other. - Lillian Hellman Cancer: All women become like their mothers. That's their tragedy. No man does. That's his. – Oscar Wilde

Aries: He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.

Gemini -  Be kind to your shadow. ~Rebecca Lawless

Leo:  Swallow your pride occasionally; it's non-fattening! ~Author Unknown

Virgo:  No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers. ~Author Unknown

Quotes for the Signs #4  (13-Oct-09)
Aries - Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off. ~Author Unknown


Looking for #5 and #8? I must have misnumbered, because I can’t find them either! If you can find one using the search feature, a finder’s fee of the free eBook of your choice. The Radical Virgo is good with words, not numbers.


Aries: To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

Taurus: Too much of a good thing can be wonderful! ~ Mae West


Capricorn: The difference between a boss and a leader—a boss says, “Go!”—a leader says, “Let’s go.” ~ E.M. Kelly

Aquarius: Being who we are rather than becoming who everyone says we must be is the ultimate simplicity. Nothing is more difficult to acquire in life." ~ Joan Chittister


Virgo - We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.  ~ E.B. White

Libra: Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. 


Quotes for the Seasons and Other Reasons

Aries - You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

Here's a little combined wisdom and blarney for the whole Tribe of Twelve! This time, Pisces gets a pair from my Mercury in Libra that can't choose between equal goodies.

Pisces - An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. ~Irish Saying

Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. ~Author Unknown

Cancer: No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. ~ Erma Bombeck

Leo: There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~ Erma Bombeck

Virgo: One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.  Don't clean it up too quickly.  ~Andy Rooney

Aries - New Year's Day is every man's birthday. ~Charles Lamb
Taurus - Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde



Thursday, April 9, 2015

Radical Reposts: Humor’s in Season--for Any Reason!



 


Laughing at How the Tribe of 12 Do Things

If I say Twitter, do you think I'm giggling at you like a goofy schoolgirl—or do you start talking in a bunch of birdie buzz words like tweet, tweeps, or twoosh? Your tweet style from Aries to Pisces.

I got together with my wiseacre alter ego, Auntie Joyce, and we envisioned the favorite books of each zodiac sign. Feel free to disagree—or add to your sign's fave—in the Comments.

Like Lucy in the Peanuts cartoon who puts out her shingle asking 5 cents for Psychiatric Help, Auntie Joyce has donned her Dr. Dreamwork hat. Dr. Auntie J. is offering you a deal you can’t refuse at a price you can afford—free. Where else can you get her two-cents for what it’s worth? Here are some of her best mental health advice column comments. They come from around the zodiac, 12 diverse dreams and dreamers. Today we’ll cover Aries through Virgo—tomorrow, Libra through Pisces.

Libra Dream: I join Match.com and go to my e-mail daily, excited about the prospect of a new romance. After two weeks, there's not a single match. I wonder if I was too superficial, asking for tall, dark and handsome.

Laughs Any Time of the Year

Valentine’s Day (in a category all its own)
This is the time of year we tend to be fixated on synastry. You're probably poking around your beloved's chart right now, trying to figure out which of his or her many aspects to your planets are favorable.

Spring
There is comic relief to be found between the sneezes of the pollen sensitive, whatever their Astro-orientation. Here’s what I’ve observed on how the various zodiac signs "do" spring.

Summer
Tickle your eyes with these photos of the signs sunning themselves or otherwise behaving in their inimitable styles—under full-tilt rays.

Autumn
Boo-ware of angry or cranky zodiacal creatures this Halloween season! They may be dressed as your husband, wife, lover, friend or children, but during this celebration of the dark side, be watchful of what goes bump in the night—or maybe in broad daylight!

What would happen if you threw a Halloween Scorp-off, a party where every one of the signs comes dressed as his or her version of Scorpio? Shore up your sides. This one’s a splitter!

Halloween Treat Break! Costumes I’ve Had the Nerve to Wear (28-Oct-11) I’ve been a Christmas tree (mixed holiday metaphors), The Purple People Eater (apologies to Sheb Wooley), Gilda from the Planet Glitz and my heroine Auntie Mame. How ‘bout you? What in someone’s astrology chart creates a passion for costume? If you know, don’t keep a mask on it. After all, I included pictures, embarrassing as they are.

Let’s get lore-id about the background of Halloween and its adjacent holidays, including All Soul’s Day and the discovery date of Chiron. Serious historical info delivered with tongue in cheek.

Winter

Let's face it. The holiday season can bring up old wounds like nobody's business, especially when you combine high stress with relatives. How many family fights have started at the holiday dinner table? Even when we vow to be on our best behavior, unresolved injuries, irritations, and family enmeshment can cause a person to go Scrooge without creative intervention. Here’s my suggestion. Shop their Chiron signs!
Ho-ho-hilarious from Aries to Pisces with a lot of wisdom and heart in-between.

Every holiday carol is likely to be loved by some signs more than others. I asked my alter ego, Auntie Joyce, to scratch her head and share her ideas and acerbic wit on which holiday tunes go with which singers in the zodiac.

The Twelve Days of Solstice—and Other Cracked Carols  (10-Dec-13) A classic rewritten for astrologers and astrology lovers, just in time for your Astro-group’s holiday party … or just for your own amusement.

Zodi-Yuks: New Year’s Resolutions from Aries to Pisces (26-Dec-10) Don’t know if any one of our zodiac characters can keep these, but they’re bound to keep you laughing.

~~~

Photo Credit: © freehandz - Fotolia.com

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Radical Reposts: Astrology and Humor—and Humor about Astrology


 

 Astrology in General




Astrology and Humor (16-May-11)

I had an encounter with a woman many years ago—someone very “proper.” She couldn't understand why I use humor so liberally when talking about Chiron, because Chiron is “so spiritual.” I have a very different perspective, namely: We’re closest to God when we’re laughing.




What’s you’re AQ—Astrobabble Quotient? Take this 10-point quiz to find out if you speak Astro-gibberish and offend everyone around you—and make sure the uninitiated never want to speak the language of the stars.





Astrological Aspects and Signatures




In these posts, you’ll be introduced to The Radical Virgo’s smart-alecky alter ego, Auntie Joyce.




When Auntie Joyce was very small, there was a wonderful kids' show called Romper Room. This educational offering on early TV (1953)had a wonderful character called Mr. Do Bee. This oversized Bumble Bee taught children how to behave--the do’s and don’ts of manners. Auntie suspects the inspiration for this post came from too many screaming children on recent air travel or from wearing too much yellow. In either case, she hopes you enjoy her turn at being Ms. Do Bee on a romp around the zodiac. We’ll start with the Don’ts and end on a high note with the Do’s.




01-Feb-14

The Cardinal Cross of 2014 may be gone if not forgotten … but never to be forgotten within this post is the style of coping that each signs uses when meeting intense astrological aspects demanding major change.








There’s always another Mercury Retrograde just around the corner! What my Moon taught me about Mercury (double Gemini mom) and how your Jupiter (humor) will save you from going crazy during Mercury’s dance backwards.




(18-Jul-10)

Auntie Joyce, known for her funny and pointed astro-aphorisms, just arrived at the door of The Radical Virgo in her gym shorts to talk about Mercury. She thinks we could use the equivalent of a Pilates class to get our Mercs in better shape for this crazy cyber sprint we’re all signed up for, this marathon of Mercurial madness called the Virtual World. (Not to be confused with the Virtuous World.)




(18-Jan-11)



Only Auntie Joyce could find a relationship between those side-by-side signs that seem like they have nothing to do with each other, starting with: A Virgo is just a Leo with stage fright. Enjoy this unique trip around the zodiac with Auntie J.



 ~~~

Photo Credit: © hultimus - Fotolia.com



NEXT: Humor’s in Season – Laughs for holidays and winter, spring, summer and fall.