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Valentine’s month is the perfect time to think about where your love lives. Your Venus sign is your love style—its house, your base of operation. There are so many aspects of life to love, but the house where your Venus resides will tell you about the slice of life where your love shines. We all do our best from home base or home court. We even call it the “home court advantage” in sports when a team plays a home game. So, get out your comfy house slippers and let’s take a spin around the zodiac wheel and a look at your love and comfort zone!
Venus in House 1 ~ Your love lives in a House of Mirrors where you wear your heart on your sleeve. The 1st House tells us how we appear to others or how we project ourselves. It could be literal; you look loving, sweet, or kind. Or maybe you have a heart-shaped face. Another option? Your loving nature may be what first strikes others about you. Venus is especially interested in her good looks, particularly if she’s in either of the signs she rules—Taurus or Libra. In that case, you may be a looker or perceived as one by others. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what we project contributes greatly to what others see. Example: You may be overweight, but if you carry yourself well and exude self-love, people often will not perceive you as heavy or unattractive. A cinematic case in point comes from the teenage character Tracy Turnblad in the movie “Hairspray.” She was pudgy, but that was outweighed by her other characteristics, no pun intended. Tracy was a sweetheart and a great dancer who loved others. She had a strong sense of justice and fair play—all Venusian characteristics. Tracy got the cool guy, too! Similarly, while many people are not that attractive, if you analyze their features, but they make the most of what they’ve got with style, grooming, and charm. Their warmth of spirit permeates their being and transforms them. They project beauty, even if they are not classically beautiful. On the downside, you could be vain; obsessed with looks and image, or think your looks are really “you.” You love best when you feel good about yourself. The challenge of Venus in the 1st is to align your image with your heart.
Venus in House 2 ~ Your Venus lives in a pamper palace. You value beauty and ambience, often above all else! Let’s face it; you’re a material girl or guy, too. You love security and luxuries and bestow fabulous gifts on the objects of your affection. You cannot live without a harmonious environment, which might include color, furnishings, and a healthy indoor forest of plants and living creatures. Your home is not just your castle; it’s your art gallery, and health and beauty spa. It’s full of things that arouse and thrill the senses from breathtaking art on the wall to aromatherapy scents in the bathroom to swoon over and soak in. You love best when supported by earthy, sensual delights. But make no mistake; in the 2nd house of values, Venus values love and money above all. (I consider it humorous in cosmic proportions that Venus rules both.) This is one of the two houses (the other being the 7th), where Venus is most at home. You give yourself to love because it is clearly #1 on your list, even though your love lives in House #2. The lesson of Venus in the 2nd is to make love your home and to let your material resources serve only love.
Venus in House 3 ~ Your heart camps out in a call center! You keep in touch with everyone by many of the vast array of modern gismos—phoning, texting, tweeting, or talking. In fact, Twitter and texting were made for you with their short clips of clever conversation. Whoever loves you must be prepared to have his or her ear talked off and whispered in with a frequency that could require major adaptation if s/he isn’t of similar wiring. You love by sharing information, especially with siblings, neighbors and those in your immediate surroundings. You flit here and there, especially for love, and don’t think twice about a relationship that requires a couple of hours’ driving to keep up. After all, you can be in constant touch thanks to wireless! Your challenge is to listen as much as you talk and allow yourself to be introduced to the deeper communication in moments and hours of silence.
Venus in House 4 ~ You’re a stay-at-home lover. If your Venus is in one of the people signs like Gemini or Aquarius, you express affection by inviting like-minded friends to your place for a dinner party. You love with food—baking cakes or the favorite dishes of your loved ones. Family has your heart, and you love to give and receive nurture. You're unlikely to feel comfortable until you own your own home where you can nurture your loved ones in your own way in your own style. Nothing could please you more than cooking for and fussing over your family and friends, giving them a warm nook where your mutual love can thrive. You love by habit and with lots of feelings. You want your loved ones to be in a routine of being at home with you on a regular basis. Your challenge is to walk the fine line between nurture and smothering, or to quote my husband, “Be close, but don’t crowd each other.”
Venus in House 5 ~ Your love house is a stage and your lovers are your audience. You’re playful in love or/or act out your affection with big, dramatic gestures. The latter might be toned down somewhat if Venus is in a more inner sign like Scorpio or Pisces. You’re a big kid at heart, and you’re nothing if you aren’t entertaining to the objects of your affection. From your love stage, you play the hero in your romantic comedy or melodrama, whatever genre you like. One thing to remember: Not everyone is comfortable, especially at first, with billboards declaring your undying devotion or singing telegrams at the office. For some people, love is a more private affair. You might consider toning it down just a little until you’re sure how much drama your new love can take. It may work better to introduce them to a more showy love style in small increments. Love is also highly creative in this sector of the astrological pie. Nothing would stoke you more than having a partner for duets in painting, writing, running lines, or playing music. That is, as long as he or she realizes that you’re the King or Queen of Love and allows you to take the lead—even if it’s just a little. (It will probably be healthiest for most relationships if it’s as little as possible.) In the same way Venus in the 4th can overdo nurturing to the point of smothering; Venus in the 5th can overwhelm and turn off with gestures of love that are just too much for some people’s sensibilities. If your Venus is in Leo, the concerns are bigger because the 5th is the “natural” house where Leo’s heart’s afire. Something to consider. Bonfires burn out, but a steady slow burn keeps love alive in the long haul.
Venus in House 6 ~ Your love nest is a social service agency or wire service for dispensing helpful information. You live to serve your loved ones—and to save the world. If anything, your intimates have to learn to share you with your various causes and a pile of people who need your help or wisdom. Somewhat like Cancer, you often love through food spiced with information. Your love style is to keep an eye on your beloved’s diet and digestion, making sure s/he eats only the best and purest organic produce and pops the right vitamins and herbs. (Of course, you have researched nutrition extensively.) Work is your love zone; hence, it’s easy to fall in love with a workmate, encountering all its allied complications. You adore animals, and you attract love objects that need nursing or healing, both two and four-legged varieties. Health and work are so conjoined; one of your biggest challenges is to keep balance between the two. You get sick if you don’t work enough, but you get sicker if you work too much. If you can’t share what you know, you’ll wither away all together. Your partners must believe in your work, give you space to do it, but gently lure you away for some fun when you over-do. Your challenge is to learn that taking care of yourself is your #1 job, if you’re to continue helping others. When there’s nothing left of the helper, there’s no help to be had.
Venus in House 7 ~ Your Venus lives in a cozy love nest for two. The 7th is the other house, in addition to the 2nd, where Venus is at her comfiest! The house of relationships, partnerships, and close friendships is a great place for your love to live. It fits there perfectly. The downside? It’s so easy to lose yourself. You are so much an “us” kind of person; it can sometimes take a long time before you realize that the desires of the other in your many one-to-one relationships may not actually be yours. Sharing is so vital to you; you turn Maslow’s hierarchy of needs on its ear. Love and belonging are almost always at the base of the pyramid for you along with physiological needs. You probably know too well, how this knocks your life off its foundations whenever a relationship is going through a rough patch. Your lesson plan is to learn to know yourself so that you are giving your true self in partnership. Meaningful relationship cannot exist or survive between one person and a mirror or a clone of him/herself. To quote the old Marvin Gaye song, It takes two baby—me and you. (Not you and you—or a carbon copy of the other person.)
Venus in House 8 ~ Your Venus is at home in a love cave. You probe the psyche and mystical realms. Your cave is filled with candlelight—maybe incense and haunting music. Loving you is a visit to a psychic. You often “read” your beloved with such piercing accuracy; it’s scary. You can really shake up a would-be love, causing him or her to bolt. That kind of “getting into another person’s head” is just one example of how your partner can feel smothered or strangled, turning your 8th House love nest into a lair. To love well, you will need to control any compulsive or obsessive desires and function on the high spiritual end of this “mansion.” Studying spirituality together, creating a safe psychic space to share your deepest feelings and heal your secret pain—this is the 8th House room where your love will thrive. There is plenty of space for both sexual healing and holding hands as you explore higher states of consciousness. Eighth House Venus often has deep issues with trust; therefore, you need to take it a step at a time not just for fear of scaring your partner but also to keep from scaring yourself. The upside of this placement is the capacity for the deepest intimacy. It’s worth the wait.
Venus in House 9 ~ Your love is a schoolhouse or travel trailer—a college of higher learning about love. Broadening your horizons is the red carpet you roll out for both you and your loved ones. You thrive on long distance travel and anything “foreign.” Chances are you’re attracted to lovers from distant places and different cultures. You can meet “the one” through travel, or meet him or her at a class and bring their culture and country home through your relationship. Conversely, you could be comfortable living in a foreign land where you won’t feel like a stranger. Notice to would-be loves of Venus in the 9th: If you’re not into a relationship, where there is a lot of growth, adventure, and exploration, pass on this person. Philosophy, religion, and ethical values also are a big part of your mobile home or “university at your house.” You can be as exciting as an Indiana Jones movie or Dan Brown novel. Your challenge in relationship is to open doors for loved ones, but to realize this is parallel play—each of you is on his or her own journey in your own style, even if you’re traveling the same paths. Don’t force your views, interpretations, or values on your loved ones. Enjoy your synergy and learning how you each grow and learn from the quest.
Venus in House 10 ~ Your love house is the office, and you take the office with you everywhere. You are ambitious, career-oriented, and take your reputation, profession, and public life seriously. There’s no room for you to be a failure when it comes to your career. Therefore, the love of your life must be understanding, tolerant, yet balance your workaholic tendencies. Chances are you’ll bring a lot of money to the relationship, if not now, later as your career grows—possibly even fame. Would-be lovers need to be comfortable with the limelight. If not, this will set up a dichotomy between home and work that will tear both of you apart. Of course, the thorny issue you’re likely to struggle with is apportioning your time. It’s crucial for you to realize that your personal life provides the balance and recharging you need to be good at your work. If you take the vacations, weekends, and as much personal time as possible (the business runs better without you than you think), this will add to both the success of your relationship and your work. It is difficult to get the big picture when you’ve got your nose to the grindstone.
Venus in House 11 ~ Your love house is a convention or political rally. Here many people will listen to your progressive ideas. Lovers compete with your causes, your other passions. Friendship is paramount to you, and a relationship must have a strong component of liking each other and enjoying each other’s company. In fact, yours may be one of the likeliest placements for friendship turned romance. You may meet would-be loves in groups and organizations. Don’t count him or her out if s/he takes the opposing view while you’re railing about your latest reformist vision of how the world could be. (That’s how I met my first husband.) You are intellectual, original, and wed to making the world a better place. Much like Venus in the 10th, your lovers need to be tolerant of your mission in life and pull you back when your mission is about to overtake you. Look for love with smart, like-minded people; keep love by remembering that you’ll only be as successful as you’re replenished for the good fight. That means taking time for your lover/best friend—who for you is likely to be the same person—your partner.
Venus in House 12 ~ Your Venus lives in a haunted house or museum. You may unwittingly carry psychic cords and remain bonded to anyone you have ever loved or have sticky residue from past experiences. This leaves your love house sometimes crowded with cobwebs and Ghosts from Romance Past. You may also surprise yourself by being unclear about your feelings for someone until the words just fall out of your mouth on the day you’re ready to commit. Unconsciousness is both the upside and downfall of this placement of Venus. Your subconscious may actually be a fine matchmaker. On one hand, those psychic cords may allow you to “signal” your soulmate in the ethers that you’re waiting for him or her. This can cause a chain reaction of events that draw you together. Your capacity for psychic bonding also makes you so sensitive to your lover’s needs, you are romance incarnate. On the other hand, you can be so unaware of your beloved at times; it can be infuriating—or simply hilarious. Example of the latter: I called my Venus in the 12th husband from the grocery store one day during a long bout of errands to say I’d be home later than expected. “You’re not home?” He’d forgotten I had gone out and thought I was just in my office in the back of the house, working away as usual! Your homework is to practice grounding. Engage often with your beloved in earthy pursuits, whether they’re sexual or practical like planning menus or digging in the garden together. In other words, be in your bodies. While teleportation might a nice experience to try or a nice place to visit, floating around out of body can lose its charm in a hurry, especially when you hit the ground with a thud. If those cobwebs and old cords keep getting in the way, see a professional psychic who knows how to cut them and help you move on into the mystery of your new love with all its potential for mystical union.
Venus in the Signs—Once Home, Put It into the Blender
Of course, while this article focuses on Venus in the houses, you can’t keep your Venus sign out of the equation. Sometimes for the sake of simplicity and getting to know one aspect of our charts more deeply, it’s good to concentrate on one astrological concept alone. As a last step, however, you might want to delve into the blend of your house and sign, starting with just a few key words from this list:
Aries ~ self-confident, forceful, strong, courageous, impatient
Taurus ~ stable, wealthy, patient beautiful, artistic, sensuous
Gemini ~ communicative, flexible, changeable, detached, energetic, mobile
Cancer ~ feeling, nostalgic, attached, moody, sensitive, reflective, domestic
Leo ~ playful, childlike, warm, self-expressive, dramatic, artistic, optimistic, loyal
Virgo ~ sensible, mental, logical, intelligent, work-oriented, efficient, helpful
Libra ~ balanced, just, other-oriented, considerate, diplomatic, peace loving
Scorpio ~ intense, secretive, determined, energetic, psychic, compulsive, jealous
Sagittarius ~ friendly, outgoing, blunt, enthusiastic, expansive, generous
Capricorn ~ ambitious, hardworking, practical, organized, responsible, wise
Aquarius ~ friendly, insightful, unique, communicative liberal, tolerant, inspired
Pisces ~ sensitive, imaginative, compassionate, meditative, creative, escapist
The aspects to your Venus will tell you how easy or difficult it is to express your love nature. Easier aspects like sextiles and trines are usually a piece of cake. The aspects you’ll really learn from, though, will be those challenging squares and oppositions that create tension between two planets. Even that tension has an upside. Who doesn’t want to learn more about love?
Why Venus Matters So Much
Venus is important not just during Valentine’s month, but anytime. Love is the force field that glues together all living things. I think Johnny Depp said it best, playing the title role in the movie Don Juan deMarco:
“There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.”
Photo Credit: HEART SHAPE © Zimmytws Dreamstime.com
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Week 1 Comment Contest Winner! Congrats to JuliaAna from Shell Knob, MO, winner of this week’s drawing among readers who have commented on The Radical Virgo between Feb. 1 -7. JuliaAna’s prize is a copy of my e-book, Chiron and Wholeness: A Primer.