Radical Reposts: Humor – Wiseacres of Astro-Wisdom!

 

Auntie Joyce Channeling Quotables

  

Auntie Joyce’s Astro Aphorisms

Humor from under the Hair Dryer

Auntie Joyce's Astro-Aphorisms (06-Jan-10)

I channeled these original aphorisms for you! Unless otherwise noted, they are original quotes by yours truly … Speaking of saying, I say if you can’t have wisdom, have fun!

…Pisces: Pack a first aid kit in case of mergency.

Auntie Joyce's Astro-Aphorisms #2 (01-Apr-10)

Aries: Easier done than said. Taurus: Here today, here tomorrow. Gemini: East is East, and West is West, and never the twin shall meet ...

Auntie Joyce's Astro-Aphorisms #3 (03-May-10)

Originals by Auntie Joyce, except as noted. Aries: “The quicker the faster.” ~ Sr. Stella, slap happy 1950s nun and knuckle rapper. Speciality? The Ruler. (And Auntie Joyce does not mean “chart ruler.”)

Quotes for the Signs

While the Quotes series could be a post on its own, the irony of how famous words to live by match

astrological energies is often hilarious and, at the same time, profound. Therefore, I voted to put them into the humorous Astro-wisdom category.

Quotes for the Astrological Signs (01-Jun-09)

Gemini: People change and forget to tell each other. - Lillian Hellman Cancer: All women become like their mothers. That's their tragedy. No man does. That's his. – Oscar Wilde

Quotes for the Signs #2 (07-Jul-09)

Aries: He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.

Quotes for the Signs #3  (02-Sep-09)

… Gemini -  Be kind to your shadow. ~Rebecca Lawless

Leo:  Swallow your pride occasionally; it's non-fattening! ~Author Unknown

Virgo:  No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers. ~Author Unknown

Quotes for the Signs #4  (13-Oct-09)

Aries - Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off. ~Author Unknown

Looking for #5 and #8? I must have misnumbered, because I can’t find them either! If you can find one using the search feature, a finder’s fee of the free eBook of your choice. The Radical Virgo is good with words, not numbers.

Quotes for the Signs #6  (09-Sep-10)

Aries: To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

Taurus: Too much of a good thing can be wonderful! ~ Mae West

Quotes for the Signs #7  (25-Feb-11)

… Capricorn: The difference between a boss and a leader—a boss says, “Go!”—a leader says, “Let’s go.” ~ E.M. Kelly

Aquarius: Being who we are rather than becoming who everyone says we must be is the ultimate simplicity. Nothing is more difficult to acquire in life." ~ Joan Chittister

Quotes for the Signs #9  (01-Sep-12)

… Virgo - We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.  ~ E.B. White

Libra: Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. 

Quotes for the Seasons and Other Reasons

Valentine's Quotes for the Signs  (02-Feb-10)

Aries - You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

St. Patrick's Day Quotes for the Signs (02-Mar-10)

Here's a little combined wisdom and blarney for the whole Tribe of Twelve! This time, Pisces gets a pair from my Mercury in Libra that can't choose between equal goodies.

…Pisces - An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. ~Irish Saying

Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. ~Author Unknown

Holiday Quotes for the Signs (29-Nov-09)

… Cancer: No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. ~ Erma Bombeck

Leo: There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~ Erma Bombeck

Holiday Quotes for the Signs ~ 2011 (05-Dec-11)

…Virgo: One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.  Don't clean it up too quickly.  ~Andy Rooney

New Year's Quotes for the Signs  (28-Dec-09)

Aries - New Year's Day is every man's birthday. ~Charles Lamb

Taurus - Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde

Auntie Joyce Talks Turkey About How to Tone Your Mercury

© 2010 by Joyce Mason

All Rights Reserved

Auntie Joyce, known for her funny and pointed astro-aphorisms, just arrived at the door of The Radical Virgo in her gym shorts to talk about Mercury. She thinks we could use the equivalent of a Pilates class to get our Mercs in better shape for this crazy cyber sprint we’re all signed up for, this marathon of Mercurial madness called the Virtual World. (Not to be confused with the Virtuous World.) Auntie says:

Your Mercury has never been more important. If you’re past your midlife transits, chances are you digest more information in a week than you did, as a kid, in a year. This can lead to Information Indigestion and near-permanent dizziness, like you just got off a fast spinning merry-go-round. My theory is that the Information Revolution has required us to morph faster than our physical vehicles can keep up with … but each Mercury sign, if tweaked and toned like your body during a good workout, can work in your favor. Your enhanced Mercury muscles can help you navigate the chaos of a bazillion websites, social networking communities, Skype, e-mail, YouTube, and an onslaught of images groping for your attention at all times. (Whew! Just writing about it wore me out.)

Let’s take a spin around the zodiac and talk about how you can tone up and tune up your Merc.


Tune-Up Your Mercury Every 3,000 Keyboard Miles

(Will someone with Mercury in Aquarius hurry up and invent the keyboard odometer?)

Mercury in Aries - Full speed ahead, your mind is on fire. You read, write, and communicate in all ways quickly. You’ll be the first to try out a new technology or widget. You leave others in your wake. That’s the problem. To make meaningful cyber connections, you need to pick up your head from the Ram “horns down” position and let some of your fiery energy sink to your heart chakra. This means slowing down a little. No problem surfing the Net in overdrive, but when it comes to those people connections on Facebook, Twitter, and My Space, be sure you take the time to make thoughtful comments, to help your fellow cyber buds, and to think of others. You may garner thousands of followers, but if you only give them a glancing hello on the run, do you think they’ll buy your friendship, much less your products or services?

Mercury in Taurus - If Mercury in Aries is Speedy, you’re Pokey. You mull things over. Pretty and luxurious stuff attracts your attention, along with moneymaking schemes. You need a motto or affirmation that commits to a single sentence why you use the internet. Example: I use the Internet to make friends, make sales, and make it with men (or women). Keep coming back to your goals. You’re likely to get lost looking at your Cousin Joe’s vacation photos from a lush, tropical island. You like to click through on those alluring promises of making millions on the Internet. Since you click at the speed of dirt, like most Mercury in Earth signs, you don’t have as much time to waste. Focus! Use the “5 things a day” rule of thumb. Do five things every day that further your goals. Uh, Mercury in Taurus? Get out of that art gallery site. I’m talking to you!

Mercury in Gemini – The Brave New World of Constant Communication was made for you, which is both your blessing and curse. You flit here, there, and everywhere. With your curious mind and tendency to bore easily, you’re in hog heaven on the wide cyber turf of nearly 27 billion websites. But what about depth? To have true knowledge, you have to dig deep into some things to glean the archeology of how they work and to unearth their wisdom. Similarly, if you do dating sites, you probably have wondered how such great mind connections sometimes flop when taken a step further to coffee or another form of in-person meeting. It’s not how much or well you talk or on how many subjects; it’s how well you reach your “subject.” Your quicksilver mind can become easily obsessed with games, chats, and that made-for-Gemini phenomenon, the tweet. Choose one thing in your huge chain of multi-interests and get to know it well. Maybe it’s one social networking site. Maybe Facebook will become your community and ground your lively Mercury, enhancing its greatest gifts--but only if you offer your friends more than chitchat.

Mercury in Cancer – You’re a touchy-feely communicator, and this bodes will for the potential to make deep friendships on the Internet. One thing about cyber connections. When made between mature adults who know how to sense a kindred spirit, this form of “sight unseen” relationship can be among the deepest you’ll ever know. Without physical or cultural context, we communicate online heart to heart and mind to mind. There’s no interference of the unconscious stereotyping we all do but hate to admit. Mercury in Cancer can enjoy that kind of deep friendship if she pays close attention to necessary safety factors: don’t disclose too much, too soon. Be sure your new friend is trustworthy, someone you got to know because of a shared interest or friends. Above all, don’t crab, cry, or mother-hen people on the public wall. Monitor your public persona and don’t reveal too much where everyone can see, even if they are your chosen Facebook friends. Certain levels of intimacy belong in one-on-one e-mails. Don’t cry, Mercury in Cancer. I know you wish you’d have read this sooner. Better late than never!

Mercury in Leo – Like the MGM lion at the beginning of that studio’s movies, your communications come in with a big roar and lots of spotlights on—YOU! Like Gemini, there’s a certain sync between how you naturally communicate and what social networking sites are all about. They make us all stars in our own constellations. However, it’s important to know when enough is enough. After you’ve gleefully seen who has left messages or tweets for you today, take time to remember your Leo generosity and do at least as many back. Yes, it’s All About You here—but it’s All About You for everyone! Your warm way of expressing yourself, your humor, and your command of a crowd will keep your followers in the thousands. Just be sure the applause goes both ways. Applause sends waves of appreciation from heart to heart. (See Getting the Clap.)

Mercury in Virgo - Here’s the thing. I know that many social networking sites with their short status lines were originally set up for close friends and family to catalog their every move. But do you have any concept how boring that is? No one uses the status line for its original purpose, or at least not often. No one cares that you ate Earth-Friendly Granola for breakfast, a scant half cup with skim milk. Not even your mother. Keep details down to a minimum and boring unnecessary ones down to none. Now to open Merc in Virgo’s gift in today’s 24/7 worldwide Internet Café—research! You find things no one else can, and you’re both thorough and accurate. There is precious little of that going around. You’re a blessing and counterbalance to Internet rumors that take on lives of their own. Keep finding the facts. Keep us honest. Keep being right—in a nice way. But, of course, I don’t have to tell Mercury in Virgo to be polite. Virgo must be the Mercury sign of Miss Manners!

In the Little Prince by Saint-Exupery, the fox defines taming as “establishing ties,” that once tamed, two beings need each other. Isn’t that what the Internet and interdependence are ultimately all about?