© 2013 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved
.jpg) |
| See Comment Contest about this cartoon at the bottom of the post. |
Every holiday carol is likely to be loved by some signs more
than others. I asked my alter ego, Auntie Joyce, to scratch her head and share
her ideas and acerbic wit on which holiday tunes go with which singers in the
zodiac. Here’s a taste of her which-craft!
Aries: "We Need a
Little Christmas (Right This Very Minute!)” – OK, it’s not technically a carol,
but this catchy tune from the musical Mame
captures Aries impatience to a T. Besides, if you have to be first, you’d be
singing a different tune because you’d be singing it before the carol season begins.
If you insist it has to be a carol, “The First Noel” for obvious reasons ….
Taurus: “It Came
Upon a Midnight Clear” – With its sweet, almost sensuous peacefulness, this
carol will appeal to the laid-back Bull, happy to envision angels bending near
the earth (his or her element), touching their harps of gold. We know how
Taurii love their gold.
Gemini: “Santa
Claus Is Coming to Town” – Gem’s a messenger, right? This song reminds me of
Paul Revere running through the streets of urban America chanting, “The Santa
is coming.” Besides, it’s about lists and checking them twice. Of course, one
list would never do for the list-happy Gemini, unless it were Santa’s
never-ending scroll. Gems just keep singing and fantasizing about the List to
End All Lists. It’s almost better than sex.
Cancer: “Away in
a Manger” – What Cancer with his or her strong inner parent wouldn’t worry for
baby Jesus having no home or crib for his head? Who else would be more eager to
sing about creating the comforts of home, even in a meager stable? Obvious runner-up:
“I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”
Leo: “All I Want
for Christmas is You.” Not that you’re hooked on romance or attention or
anything, King or Queen of Everyone’s Heart.
Virgo: “The Twelve Days of Christmas” – It’s complex,
it’s wordy, it requires memorization. It’s a challenge to get right, and it
offers no end of possibilities to critique those who can’t cut it.
Libra: “All I
Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” – With Libra’s bent for beauty, he or
she would truly be disturbed to be missing these important smile props. Not to
mention, it’s easier to kiss with good dentition. Gives the lips a good
foundation and backdrop for the pressure of pursing and pressing against
another’s. Runner-up: “The Peace Song.” (Let There Be Peace on Earth and Let it
Begin with Me)
Scorpio: “O Come,
All Ye Faithful” – Not that I’m saying Scorps are jealous or anything.
Sagittarius: “O,
Hanukkah!” Jewish or Gentile, this catchy tune is likely to capture the heart
of fiery Sag. Hanukkah’s a Festival of Lights, there’s
gambling
in a game of spinning the dreidel, it’s a religious celebration--and a
party. Generous Sag has the opportunity to give eight days of gifts without
having to memorize their names in reverse order. (See Virgo.) Runner up: “Grandma
Got Run Over by a Reindeer”
for a title so tactless ... dare I say more?
Capricorn: “Up on
the Rooftop” – Goats like to climb, and who knows? A He Goat might meet a
reindeer babe up there. Girl Goats might meet a
hunky deer. (Note to Cap: Avoid the one with the red nose. Possible lush and you know
how they tend to get out of control.)
Aquarius: “Auld
Lang Syne” – This traditional New Year’s tune is about friendship, the Water
Bearer’s favorite form of love. It’s sung at parties where gregarious Aquarius
shines when people are thinking of revolutions. (That’s resolutions, Aquarius.)
Pisces: “All
Through the Night” – A traditional Welsh folk song about a sleeping child
attended by angels, it’s a double-header for any pair of Fish. You can zzz out after
being tucked in by heavenly beings. Runners up: “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
for the occasional Fish that drinks like one and "Blue Christmas" for those sensitive artiste types who cry in their beer before drinking it.
May your Inner Zodiac Singers always help you hit the high notes in life!
Happy Holidays from Joyce, “Auntie Joyce” and everyone at
our house—to everyone at yours.
~~~
Photo Credit: © wetnose1 - Fotolia.com
Carolers Cartoon Contest
There are only 11 carolers. Which sign is missing and why?
Post your best explanations in the Comments!
.jpg)
.jpg)
