Food for Funny: New Year’s Resolutions Around the Zodiac

© 2010-2017 by Joyce Mason

Resolutions: Do you do them? Aim to do them but never get around to it? Wish you had the discipline? Write them but are lucky to stick with one of them for the first few days of the New Year?

Your ultimate “out” of this annual exercise in futility also happens to be the truth. The real New Year, from an astrological perspective, is Spring Equinox—not one week past the cusp of winter. What could grow in that hardened soil with rain or snow pelting it to smithereens? Neither flowers, resolutions, nor good intentions. But if you still insist on living by a calendar out of sync with the stars and seasons—to remain bent on playing society’s silly game of writing resolutions off-cycle with the earth and sky, here’s how you might find yourself—or some of your friends.

Aries:  I will count to 10 before I blow up. (1…2…$^&**+$#_!!!)

Taurus: I resolve to finish my holiday candy and gingerbread, savoring each bite.

Gemini: I’m good at writing. Doorbell. Hi, Max! Oh, I have to TiVo my four programs that are on at the same time. What am I supposed to do again? My phone is ringing.

Cancer:  I have no time for this; I have children to take care of. It’s none of your business that they’re past their midlife transits.

Leo: I resolve to make more Me Time!

Virgo: Of course, I’m on it. I’ve been working on them since Autumn Equinox. I still have more editing to do.

Libra: I’ll get to it if my honey will do it with me.

Scorpio: They’re for me to know and for you not to find out.

Sagittarius:  I resolve to get more of everything!

Capricorn: I resolve to get more of everything and chair the corporation that gives it to me!

Aquarius: I resolve to do my part to make peace on earth, even if it involves protests.

Pisces: I’ve vaguely heard of them, but I just go with the flow. I think it’s something you’re supposed to stick to. What are they, again?

~~~

Photo Credit: Old and New Years © Dennis Cox | Dreamstime.com

Related Post:  New Year's Quotes for the Signs

Send some of your own zodiac sign resolutions in the Comments. Happy New Year from The Radical Virgo!

The Crystal Ball makes a perfect romp of a read, a page-turner as laugh-inducing as champagne bubbles. Set at a longevity association's New Year's Eve and 25th anniversary party, strange costumes, goings-on and a major mystery spice up the calendar turn for a group of do-gooders out to preserve themselves and the planet. 

Scorpio for a Day

Time for a break from the PsychKicks posts to replay some seasonal favorites. Enjoy!

A Little Halloween Humor

© 2009 - 2017 by Joyce Mason. All Rights Reserved

Back when I was growing up boomer in the 1950s and ‘60s, there was this schmaltzy show called Queen for a Day. On its nostalgic website, Queen is described as an early rags-to-riches reality show. Broadcasting live from the historic theatre-restaurant, Moulin Rouge, in Hollywood, each episode would consist of three to four women competing to become Queen for a Day. The women revealed their most personal stories to the American public. Audience members then decided which woman’s story was most heart wrenching (by use of the applause-o-meter) and the winner was crowned Queen for a Day.


Well, that may be fine for a Leo down on her luck who actually managed to swallow her pride, but it gave me an idea about Halloween. Halloween is the one day a year we can all be Scorpios for a day! It’s even expected of us! Then I got to thinking: How would each sign of the zodiac “do Scorpio?” Naturally, some signs might be more predisposed to Scorpio’s well-known darkness, power tripping, and sex mania. (OK, to be fair, their extreme depth and natural abilities to transform themselves.) Here’s my best guess on what this masquerade party would look like. I’d call it my Halloween Scorp-Off. You’re invited. Please comment if you have other costume ideas!


Aries: Rams love sharp objects. Combine their ruler Mars with Scorpio’s, Pluto, and you have a recipe for torture and death by knives and other sharp objects. Since they are so often attracted to their opposite, Libra, this is your chance to impersonate a carnival knife thrower with the quaking Libra as the “hope-he’ll-Miss.” It would even be more hilarious and astrologically pointed if in a traditional role reversal with a female Aries throwing knives at a male Libra. The juxtaposition of it just makes me tingle! If you’d rather fly solo and very much on the dark side, you can go as Dexter, the CSI turned serial thrill killer who loves to implement comeuppance on the “bad” serial killers. Not to forget, its star, Michael C. Hall, got a lot of experience at death’s door playing an undertaker in Six Feet Under. Don’t forget your CSI kit or medical bag, especially the scalpels and other "possibilities."

Taurus: To be creepy yet pretty for their Venus sensibilities, I suggest a wartless, high-fashion witch or wizard, the kind that eats little children. After all, we know how those Tauri like their snacks. (Heads-up and no Bull! You can still find nostalgic chocolate babies candy—still a sick idea to me today—to carry in your portable cauldron to sink your sweet tooth into and add to the full effect.)

Gemini: Women, dress as Sybil or any other multi-personality maniac and morph dramatically all night. Men might wear a dark cape and one of those creepy masks that has a face on both the back and front. To be witty and symbolic, perhaps the faces are comedy and tragedy—or any pair of opposites, like Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker or George Bush and Barack Obama.

Cancer: It’s difficult for any Cancer, male or female, to play an anti-nurturer, but do it s/he must. It’s Halloween! A women Cancer can bring her date to play her adult son and come as the domineering, evil mom in The Manchurian Candidate. (I love the original version with Angela Lansbury and have not yet seen the more recent, Meryl Streep version. These normally nice ladies prove anyone can be diabolical when acting.) There are many potential characters in the mean mother genre, including Mommy Dearest, Fay Dunaway’s portrayal of Joan Crawford who apparently would not get the normal Cancer’s Mom of the Year Award. Men Cancers might play the evil nurturer more literally and come with various candy pills or powders to slip into people’s drinks, while having ready a string of statements said straight-faced and kindly, such as, “Drink this, my friend. It’ll take any pressure off for being the life of the party.” Or carry fake poisons carried in a Halloween bucket; position the bucket near someone’s foot before saying, “I made this just for you. You’ll get such a kick out of it.” Or you could come smeared in fake blood and grease, carry a skillet and a carving knife, look mean, and be a contestant on Iron Chef (especially good for those who also have a dose of Aries in their charts). For the mother/child relationship gone bad, a couple could play Norman in Psycho and his deceased mom.

Leo: Since both Leo and Scorpio tend to be high-drama signs, this is a natural. Except for the part where sunny Leo has to be “made in the shade.” Since that has a Tony Soprano ring to it, a thug and/or his moll would be the perfect get-up. Leos like to be the center of attention, so he or she could also choose a very limelighty model of mayhem, like Bonnie or Clyde or maybe Al Capone. Girl Lions: How about some real juicy historical murderer like Lucretia Borgia? You’re so fiery; a pyromaniac would be a good choice, too. (Watch those matches.)

Virgo: Poor Virgo would only come to this party with a gun pointed at her head. Not a bad idea. Virgo brings a partner to play the nutcase. As Virgos live to serve, she’s glad to be his victim and knows she also simply must agree to be his sex slave. She arrives at the party in a tasteful, but somewhat revealing submissive costume—preferably, one of those little maid outfits. You know how Virgos love to clean! She will be handcuffed to the perpetrator who will wave his gun around makes her say witty, suggestive things at his direction about what he plans to do with her later. (Anyone who reads The Radical Virgo should be onto the fact that Virgos are really earthy babes with big libidos looking for the right person to do it with.) Guy Virgos: Come as Adrian Monk and try to solve the cases of murder and mayhem rampant in this den of iniquity. Your date can play your assistant, either Natalie or Sharona, depending on personality type. Don’t forget the wipes!

Libra: This sign may have the most difficulty of anyone at this party, because it’s so hard to be nice all the time and be Scorpio. (Sorry, Scorps.) Since they rarely function solo, Libras should attend this “do” with a Scorpio bent on luring them out of their comfort zone. This will not be difficult, as we know Libras are the “yes, dears” of the zodiac. Other partygoers can let out their inner Scorpio as we watch this poor thing become more and more embarrassed and humiliated by her next-door neighbor in the zodiacal pie. (Diabolical laugh.) If she has a costume, she should play someone from a wholesome, nice era of history, like Mrs. C. on Happy Days.

Scorpio: Well, you could come as yourself, of course. Or you could come as a Double Scorpio. After all, being a Scorpio playing a Scorpio—imagine the possibilities! You could impersonate countless famous, fictitious killers, menaces, or sexpots. (Stay away from criminals still living or too recent to avoid turning fun into something truly chilling.) Ideas: Jack the Ripper (give it a playful twist and rip rags near the ear of women you’re trying to seduce), King Kong in an ape costume with a sexy little doll he can menace while not jumping on furniture or threatening to abduct the actual women at the party. (“Wanna come back to my skyscraper and see my etchings?”) Or how ‘bout the ultimate Scorpionic character, Dr. Frank-N-Furter in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Female Scorpios can do the Scorpio overdose as a dominatrix politician, who runs around the party with a ballot box, forcing you to vote for her in the costume contest on penalty of painful consequences, if you dare resist. Then there’s my favorite, a running pun. Dress in black with white body paint or any washable liquid resembling milk splashed all over yourself. (Don’t forget your milk mustache.) Carry a big bowl of shredded wheat and give it manic stabs every few minutes with a butcher knife. Yep, a Cereal Killer.

Sagittarius: Take the Sag love of travel. Add a little Scorpio. Voilà! Come as a travel agent to dark places: any one of several global torture device museums or traveling displays; the creepy, abandoned Alcatraz whose walls still quiver with the bad vibes of its criminal inhabitants past; or kinky sex cruises. (I refuse to provide links. Go Google yourself.) Be sure to have plenty of flyers as take-homes to distribute at this gala. Dress in black with old-fashioned luggage labels plastered on your shirt, advertising your ports of crawl. Or make your get-up look like the typical tourist with a twist: loud Hawaiian shirt in blood red with people-eating plants, à la Little Shop of Horrors, rounded off with a lei of bones.

Capricorn: Given Capricorn’s well-known issues with control, the consummate Halloween job for this executive type playing Scorpio is Inquisitor or chief torturer from the Inquisition. (Get with Sag for details and that museum link for the easiest medieval torture devices you can replicate as props. There are even more gory ones to Google, but my Libra planets can’t bear it.) It’d be good to bring a date whose head and hands are locked in homemade stocks to drag around and threaten. Or you could live on the edge of life and death with your money as a cruel mogul or greedy financier. (Caps do love dough!). How ‘bout plastering money—play or real--all over you, and saying often, “My money? Not on your life.” It could get playfully nasty if someone tries to nab one of your greenbacks.

Aquarius: Scorpio and Aquarius both can be kinky in their own way. Leave it to Aquarius to do Scorpio to the most outrageous degree. Since Aquarius rules electricity, s/he might come as the executioner, ready to place a hood over the other party-goers, then “juice” him with one of those gag buzzer devices, the kind you shock someone with when you shake hands. (You should have at least two, one for each hand to make the shock worth your time.) Anything that gives them a good jolt will do without doing any real harm. Aquarius can camp it up with frizzed hair and a Doctor Death t-shirt. In terms of live astrodrama, s/he could offer frequently throughout the night to put Libra out of her misery.

Pisces: This act must involve drugs—or, at minimum, lots of smoke and mirrors. The first character that comes to mind is The Gypsy Queen from the rock opera, Tommy. (Can’t lose. Substances and music, blending a Pisces theme with a Scorpio character. Whee!) Here are the Tina Turner visuals on the ultimate version! Suggestion: find the biggest, fattest calking syringe at Home Depot (or several) and insert the longest nail you can find on the end. Maybe supplement it with candy “acid.” Carry paraphernalia and fake drugs in a little medicine pouch. Alternatively, if you’re clever and handy enough to execute making an “acid chamber,” as in this video, you’ll win the costume contest, hands and hypodermics down! (Men, it can be a Gypsy King just as easily, barely changing a word of the lyrics. Carry your iPod/ speakers and dance around the party to this diabolically Scorpio ditty, injecting some spirit into it!)

Happy Halloween!

Although my tongue is planted so far into my cheek in this article I’m sure I’ve sprained it (good thing I’m typing not talking), I think there are still some seriously good costume ideas in this Scorpio for a Day (make that Night) Show. Don’t forget to make voting for the best costume part of the party, complete with applause-o-meter! Let me know if you try it. Disclaimer: The Radical Virgo will not be held responsible for any results. Play a Scorpio at your own risk!


~~~

Photo credit: Halloween falls... © James Thew | Fotolia.com



Want more costume fun? I love Halloween and costumes. For more inspiration, read Incognito: Costumes and Other Cheap Thrills on my other blog, Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights.

Laugh Alert! It's Humor Month on The Radical Virgo

Photo Credit: © bronya - Fotolia.com

April is National Humor Month. Combine it with this year of reposts by topic on The Radical Virgo, and warn your funny bone. It’s in for a ticklin’! The fun, of course, begins today on April Fool’s Day.

Most of us already know the benefits of laughter. One of my favorite articles on the subject ever, How Laughter Works, notes that the average adult laughs 17 times a day. Since we’re stargazers, let’s take it up a notch and raise the ante to the sky. Set a goal for your new MDL—Minimum Daily Laughs. How many laughs a day do you think you can handle? Start with at least 20, more if you dare, and notice them. Even if you don’t count each one like an obsessive Virgo counting vitamins or a Capricorn counting tax deductions, just observe how life changes with the commitment to more laughs.

Astrologers and astrology students tend to be heady types, and when we’ve got our eyes either in a literal or figurative telescope all the time, our vision is so focused; we sometimes miss the divine comedy all around us. This is why I particularly love astrological humor. It brings us back down to earth, where the interpretation of all that sky stuff matters. If what we see in those cosmic metaphors doesn’t make life better in some practical way, what’s the use?

Humor is an attitude toward life.

Something else I’d love to share with my readers that I’ve learned—humor is an attitude toward life. I explore this idea in You Talk Funny!, an article on my New Ink blog. Humor comes in all styles, and it will depend a lot on your Jupiter.

So, when you read or reread the humor posts that compare the Tribe of 12, be sure you read your Jupiter sign as well as your Sun sign. That’s your funny bone!

Happy Humor Month,

Joyce

PS – Swami Beyondananda, aka: Steve Bhaerman, kicked off another Humor Month for us on The Radical Virgo in 2011. I thought his repost would be the perfect starter for the laughs to follow.

An Interview with Steve Bhaerman and His Alter Ego, Swami Beyondananda (09-May-11)

Humor: How the Signs "Do" Spring

Article © 2014 by Joyce Mason

Aries Springs into Ram Time

We’re steeped in the last leg of spring in the Northern hemisphere. Memorial Day weekend reminds us that summer is around the corner. With all the weather patterns interrupted by climate change, this spring has just not been itself for some of us. For instance, in Sacramento in Northern California where I live, we nearly skipped spring and went straight into summer. Yet there is comic relief to be found between the sneezes of the pollen sensitive, whatever their Astro-orientation. Here’s what I’ve observed on how the various zodiac signs "do" spring.

Aries: Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead. MY season! MINE!

Taurus: (Drunk on perfume) So many flowers to stop and smell.

Gemini: Birthday time! Can’t talk now. Gotta call everyone I know for the party. Wait. I’ve got e-mail.

Cancer: Soon the children will be home for summer vacation, out of the clutches of those teachers. My face hurts from smiling. Better bake ahead and freeze the cookies before it gets too hot and my kitchen’s what’s baking.

Leo: It’s almost SUNmer!

Virgo: My allergies have laid me so low, I can barely function. And what about wearing/using all those white handkerchiefs and tissues before Memorial Day?

Libra: Please move over, Aries. Since it’s the time of year “a young man’s fancy turns to love,” spring is my season, too.

Scorpio:  (Wearing sunglasses) Too damn light and it gets worse till autumn. Talk to me then.

Sagittarius: Time to travel when the weather’s decent and before we get to high season and it costs more! I can go more places on my dollar.

Capricorn: Too close to the end of the fiscal year. My nose is shorter from the grindstone and trying to balance the books.

Aquarius: Winter’s over, people are coming out to do things like party and protest. Let’s get crazy!

Pisces: It is forever spring in bliss—or whatever season you choose to create. Ommmm.

~~~

Photo Credit:  © HitToon.com - Fotolia.com

Signs of Valentines! Auntie Joyce’s Weird and Wonderful Heart’s Day Gift Boutique

Be careful how you present chocolate to Taurus.

Shopping Tips and Hearty Humor

Article © 2013 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

Auntie Joyce, my pushy alter-ego, demanded to put her two cents worth into your Valentine’s Day shopping experience. In her youth, Auntie J. lured many Valentines from Aries to Pisces. Whichever sign you have designs on, here are some sure-fire gifts offerings, aimed to increase your return on romantic investment. Plan to get lucky on February 14^th!

Aries:  Dart board with photo of his or her ex on the bulls’ eye. This might be a gift your Aries might actually consent to share with you. You’ll reap the benefits of your beloved’s getting out any leftover anger toward the last person who wronged him or her. With both of you aiming little pointed missiles to the ex’s image, any old cords of attachment should be severed for moving on. This will only bring your beloved deeper into your waiting arms. Disclaimer: Auntie Joyce is not responsible for any bad karma incurred by making exes into flattened voodoo dolls and using them for target practice. 

Taurus. Gift certificate for a mud bath at a mineral springs spa. Don’t forget the 10-lb. box of chocolates. However, it is very important how you present this gift. Auntie suggests the mud bath first, while waxing poetic on the benefits to skin and overall beauty of this natural treatment. Wait at least a half hour before adding the candy, so he or she doesn’t think you’re making a commentary--you know, about looking a farm animal rolling around in the mud after eating the whole box. Chocolate hogs, as in the illustration above, are definitely not recommended, even if the pun is practically irresistible.

Gemini. Here’s another suggestion that’s all in how you handle it. Auntie recommends a sizable gift certificate to your Gem’s local gismo fixit shop, such as the Geek Squad. This should be paired, like wine and cheese, with the largest book of brain teasers you can buy. (Two gifts are a must for the Gemini Twins to avoid sibling rivalry spats.) Tell your Gem that while you know s/he’s perfectly capable of tinkering with her entire toy collection, why waste valuable time when s/he could be enjoying yet another aerobic brain workout? What gives Gemini more pleasure? Flatter your Gem further with the Mensa home test, in case s/he has not yet applied to this band of brainiacs.

Cancer.  How do you nurture a nurturer? It’s simple. You must think of everything and let no worry go uncovered. This strategy is designed to force your meddling homebody into taking a long overdue day off. (Suggestion: First buy yourself some earplugs to muffle your Moon One’s protests.) The gift of choice is a day at a local spa, a pamper palace. If this is too girlie for the Moon Men, make it a gift certificate for a gourmet dinner or boy’s night out or a fishing boat rental on a nice serene lake. Regardless of the pink or blue version of the self-indulgence, write in a cell phone confiscation clause so there will be no check-ins on kids or partners, especially those who are old enough to vote. Promise you’ll call for them every couple of hours. Offer to alert Neighborhood Watch to keep the home fires from burning the house down in the few hours your Cancer is away. Promise to bake the cookies for the book club. Confiscate their house keys and arrange to meet them at the door when enough time has elapsed that they have actually left home for their longest stretch ever.

Leo. What big kid at heart wouldn’t love a trip to the Magic Kingdom? Gift cards to Disneyland are available right on the rack of my local grocery store. If they’re not in yours, click here to purchase. Another perhaps lower-cost option, especially if you don’t live in a Disney state: A homemade certificate for a party you throw in his or her honor. S/he will be the star, of course, and even better if billed and crowned King or Queen for the Day. Be sure to work a performance by your Leo into the act—and lots of fun games. A terrific idea I heard once was a kindergarten created for grown-ups in Manhattan, aimed at unwinding stressed-out executives. Your Lion would likely love a kindergarten party, complete with finger paints. Don’t forget to rent a jumpy house or other playground equipment for the recess portion of the festivities.

Virgo. How ‘bout a gift certificate to visit a highly recommended accountant so someone else can fuss over your Virgo’s budget for a change? So practical, and like Cancer, s/he so seldom an opportunity to turn the worry reins over to someone else. Of course, Merry Maids or any reputable housekeeping service would be ideal, but you’d have to pair this one with taking your Valentine out to lunch that day so s/he’s not there to micromanage the cleaning. Convince your favorite V. that the white glove test can wait till after dessert.

Libra. Get your favorite love bunny whatever you’d want. That’s how s/he’d want it, right? Your happiness is her happiness; your joy is his command. Anything gooey romantic will also do, like jewelry, sentimental cards, and especially an engagement ring, if you’re so inclined. If not, any other kind of ring may suggest an incremental working towards the real thing and keep your Libra in a very loving mood. Keep hope alive. On the other hand, if your Scale Guy or Gal is too clingy already, recycle the Cancer suggestions of spa, friends’ night out or a serene solo getaway. Convince your Libra that absence makes the heart grow fonder, occasional time-outs are therapeutic, and it’s only for a few hours. Best of all, drop the idea of the romantic potentials in the welcome back.

Scorpio.  A getaway deep in the woods in an isolated cabin will fulfill your Scorpio’s fantasies. If you’re really daring, you can add a gift card to his or her favorite adult toy catalog and hope the resulting purchases aren’t too kinky for your taste. If you’re just worn out from the physical aspect of your relationship, go for something else no Scorp can resist—a good mystery. Visit Amazon for Top Mystery Books suggestions in the genre or book a gift date to a local mystery dinner theater. These adventures involve the audience in sleuthing out the perpetrator of heinous, imaginary crimes. Dark, humorous movies are also a great option, especially if they have romance thrown into the mix. Whatever you do, no crowds—it’s just the two of you. Forever. 

Sagittarius. Any kind of travel getaway will thrill your Sag down to his or her wanderlusty toes. Same goes for a gift card to your local Learning Exchange or other adult education center. You could go really literal. If your Sag hasn’t done so already, how about some archery lessons and/or equipment? Talk about being in your element. What a way to make points with your Sag. Then there’s gambling. Lotto tickets, scratchers or a gift card to a casino are all winners—and since Sagittarius tends to be lucky, you might want to travel there with your beloved to see how much the luck rubs off.

Capricorn. I know it probably doesn’t sound very romantic to you unless you’re also a Cap, but even a single share stock certificate of some up-and-coming investment will really get to your Goat. Gift wrap it in an elegant, traditional way, best presented boxed and with no expenses spared on thick shiny paper and ribbon. Find what biz pubs are missing in your honey’s magazine rack, such as Money Investor’s Guide 2013—and get a gift subscription. Seek suggestions from the top business magazines online. Other ideas: Gift cards to the Franklin Covey store or his/her other favorite brand of planner and accessories. What he or she needs most, though, is a break from work, work, work. You’re most likely to succeed if it’s a business retreat. Ride your favorite search engine to find one you can give as a gift—or box your organizational services with an elegant certificate offering to help your Cap create one for his or her company. You’d be surprised how many resorts specialize in business retreats and what you’ll find searching on those keywords! Of course, the deal is, you get to go along or there’s a clause for extended stay to get a few nights together, away from the office.

Aquarius. The weirder or more unique, the more your Water Bearer will turn into mush! Don’t be too shy to Google “weird gifts” and let your jaw drop at some of the results. While Auntie Joyce finds some of them totally distasteful, even given her good sense of humor (a toilet mug is certainly more for a Scorpio), she actually owns a head-scratching device and loves it. (What do you think instigates these odd ideas?) Some of these items are seriously good finds. On the other hand, tickets to something like the best offbeat play currently running in your city will surely appeal—as will a contribution to one of your Aquarian’s many causes, the acknowledgment card wrapped with an unusual bouquet of flowers or a hard-to-get strain of plant. Your Aquarius will love that its beauty can be shared with all of his or her friends.

Many Pisces like smoke
but should beware of Pufferfish.

Pisces. Pisces are fish of many kinds and persuasions. If yours doesn’t already have an aquarium, why not give the gift of companionship with his or her kin? Auntie Joyce’s Pisces ex-husband drew great comfort from two big tanks, a fresh water and a salt water. The latter are very expensive. So are the fish. Be careful what you mix and match. It’s just like astrology; avoid opposite signs or fish/people who are too much alike. For instance, two male betta fish are gorgeous and colorful, but in the same tank, they will rip each other apart and often fight to the death. (They aren’t also called Siamese fighting fish for nothing.) This is no scenario for a sensitive Pisces. Auntie’s ex made a big mistake of putting a pufferfish in the salt water tank. Another fish spooked it, and it sent out a deadly poison in an instinctive reaction to the threat. The poison killed all the other expensive fish in the aquarium. Maybe the answer is to stick with fresh water fish. Or other ideas, such as swimming or scuba gear and the ever gift popular with any Pisces, music. Yoga classes or other spiritual adventures are lovely, as are lots of incense and meditation accoutrements like Tibetian singing bowls or a gentle gong timer to help your Pisces “come to” after sitting in silence and floating on air. Since Pisces rules the feet, how ‘bout a gift card to your favorite shoe emporium? Or a foot massage—especially at a place where there’s a fish tank to watch during the process, tended by someone who knows better than to turn it into a fish fry.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and all your sweethearts!

~~~

Photo Credits: Chocolate Hog © Kramografie - Fotolia.com; Girl on Swing © Jason Stitt - Fotolia.com; Incense © forcdan - Fotolia.com