© 2010-2017 by Joyce Mason
Resolutions: Do you do them? Aim to do them but never get around to it? Wish you had the discipline? Write them but are lucky to stick with one of them for the first few days of the New Year?
Your ultimate “out” of this annual exercise in futility also happens to be the truth. The real New Year, from an astrological perspective, is Spring Equinox—not one week past the cusp of winter. What could grow in that hardened soil with rain or snow pelting it to smithereens? Neither flowers, resolutions, nor good intentions. But if you still insist on living by a calendar out of sync with the stars and seasons—to remain bent on playing society’s silly game of writing resolutions off-cycle with the earth and sky, here’s how you might find yourself—or some of your friends.
Aries: I will count to 10 before I blow up. (1…2…$^&**+$#_!!!)
Taurus: I resolve to finish my holiday candy and gingerbread, savoring each bite.
Gemini: I’m good at writing. Doorbell. Hi, Max! Oh, I have to TiVo my four programs that are on at the same time. What am I supposed to do again? My phone is ringing.
Cancer: I have no time for this; I have children to take care of. It’s none of your business that they’re past their midlife transits.
Leo: I resolve to make more Me Time!
Virgo: Of course, I’m on it. I’ve been working on them since Autumn Equinox. I still have more editing to do.
Libra: I’ll get to it if my honey will do it with me.
Scorpio: They’re for me to know and for you not to find out.
Sagittarius: I resolve to get more of everything!
Capricorn: I resolve to get more of everything and chair the corporation that gives it to me!
Aquarius: I resolve to do my part to make peace on earth, even if it involves protests.
Pisces: I’ve vaguely heard of them, but I just go with the flow. I think it’s something you’re supposed to stick to. What are they, again?
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Photo Credit: Old and New Years © Dennis Cox | Dreamstime.com
Related Post: New Year's Quotes for the Signs
Related Post: New Year's Quotes for the Signs
Send some of your own zodiac sign resolutions in the Comments. Happy New Year from The Radical Virgo!
The Crystal Ball makes a perfect romp of a read, a page-turner as laugh-inducing as champagne bubbles. Set at a longevity association's New Year's Eve and 25th anniversary party, strange costumes, goings-on and a major mystery spice up the calendar turn for a group of do-gooders out to preserve themselves and the planet.
