Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Radical Reposts: Humor – Wiseacres of Astro-Wisdom!

Auntie Joyce Channeling Quotables


Auntie Joyce’s Astro Aphorisms

Humor from under the Hair Dryer

I channeled these original aphorisms for you! Unless otherwise noted, they are original quotes by yours truly … Speaking of saying, I say if you can’t have wisdom, have fun!

Pisces: Pack a first aid kit in case of mergency.

Aries: Easier done than said. Taurus: Here today, here tomorrow. Gemini: East is East, and West is West, and never the twin shall meet ...

Originals by Auntie Joyce, except as noted. Aries: “The quicker the faster.” ~ Sr. Stella, slap happy 1950s nun and knuckle rapper. Speciality? The Ruler. (And Auntie Joyce does not mean “chart ruler.”)

Quotes for the Signs

While the Quotes series could be a post on its own, the irony of how famous words to live by match
astrological energies is often hilarious and, at the same time, profound. Therefore, I voted to put them into the humorous Astro-wisdom category.

Gemini: People change and forget to tell each other. - Lillian Hellman Cancer: All women become like their mothers. That's their tragedy. No man does. That's his. – Oscar Wilde

Aries: He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.

Gemini -  Be kind to your shadow. ~Rebecca Lawless

Leo:  Swallow your pride occasionally; it's non-fattening! ~Author Unknown

Virgo:  No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers. ~Author Unknown

Quotes for the Signs #4  (13-Oct-09)
Aries - Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off. ~Author Unknown

Looking for #5 and #8? I must have misnumbered, because I can’t find them either! If you can find one using the search feature, a finder’s fee of the free eBook of your choice. The Radical Virgo is good with words, not numbers.

Aries: To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

Taurus: Too much of a good thing can be wonderful! ~ Mae West

Capricorn: The difference between a boss and a leader—a boss says, “Go!”—a leader says, “Let’s go.” ~ E.M. Kelly

Aquarius: Being who we are rather than becoming who everyone says we must be is the ultimate simplicity. Nothing is more difficult to acquire in life." ~ Joan Chittister

Virgo - We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.  ~ E.B. White

Libra: Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. 

Quotes for the Seasons and Other Reasons

Aries - You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

Here's a little combined wisdom and blarney for the whole Tribe of Twelve! This time, Pisces gets a pair from my Mercury in Libra that can't choose between equal goodies.

Pisces - An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. ~Irish Saying

Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. ~Author Unknown

Cancer: No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. ~ Erma Bombeck

Leo: There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~ Erma Bombeck

Virgo: One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.  Don't clean it up too quickly.  ~Andy Rooney

Aries - New Year's Day is every man's birthday. ~Charles Lamb
Taurus - Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde

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