© 2011 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved
Whether you want to tickle your Jupiter sign, your Sun sign, or a sign where you have a number of planets, this Zodiac Movie Guide is guaranteed to bring signs of laughter. If you don’t subscribe to Netflix yet, what are you waiting for? Please share your other faves and the sign you think they fit in the Comments. It’s time for Radical movie therapy!
Aries – The four Indiana Jones movies, starting with Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981). Heroic adventures with plenty of laughs along the way. Harrison Ford is the perennial hot hero, and his character is hilarious.
Keeping Up with the Steins, a movie about dueling bar mitzvahs that takes Aries competitiveness to new heights of ridiculous and actually made me laugh so hard, I could barely breathe. Stars Jeremy Piven, Jamie Gertz, Doris Roberts and Garry Marshall, among others. All this and a kid finds himself.
Taurus— Trading Places. Eddie Murphy is a streetwise hustler who trades places with a banker (Dan Akroyd) to learn if money really makes the man—and to fulfill a bet.
Death Becomes Her (1992). This one is actually good on either end of the Taurus/Scorpio continuum. Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep star in this black comedy about two women who discover the secret of eternal youth—and some of its drawbacks. We know Tauruses love beauty and physicality, but this flick takes it over the top!
Gemini – Jeff Dunham: Platinum Comedy, Vol. 4 (2009). Netflix describes Jeff Dunham as “not your father’s ventriloquist.” His array of alter-ego puppets suggest someone having a multiple personality disorder breakdown on stage. Jeff’s comedy is edgy, witty, fast and irreverent. His colorful cast of characters include Achmed the Dead Terrorist, Jose Jalapeño on a Stick, a purple creature named Peanut who seems to be on speed, an old fart named Walter, and a few others you might want to discover on your own. Reinforce your sides. They’ll be splitting. Sometimes you’ll think to yourself, maybe I shouldn’t laugh at this, but you just won’t be able to help yourself. And you Gems thought you had problems with a dual personality. Imagine juggling this crew.
Network (1976). This classic cautionary tale is a dark comedy where a news anchor loses it on the air. His outrageous antics boost ratings and predict some of the outlandish reality TV that has become everyday fare. Dubbed by Netflix “an Oscar-winning masterpiece,” it gave us a heads-up on the trashier side of television that we can now see with a flick of the remote. It meets all the Gemini needs—issues of mind, communication, and information, and is definitely a curiosity.
Groucho Marx, Duck Soup
You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Cancer – Julie and Julia (2009). Amy Adams stars as a bored foodie who decides to spice up her life by cooking and blogging about all 524 recipes in Julia Child’s classic French cookbook. In a dual story, Meryl Streep plays Julia Child to the hilt. You’ll laugh and cry and want to stuff chickens with her.
Moonstruck (1987). Cher and Olympia Dukakis both won Oscars for their performances in this slice-of-life romantic comedy about an Italian-American family in Brooklyn. Family? Moon? How Cancer can you get. A main character even works in a bakery. Also stars Nicolas Cage, Danny Aiello, and John Mahoney.
Leo – The Birdcage (1996). Another one of those films that works on both sides of a continuum, this one is Leo/Aquarius for the show within the show and the acting that must take place, primarily by a real queen—and Aquarian for its gay theme. Armand (Robin Williams) and Albert (Nathan Lane) own a Miami drag club. When Armand’s son announces he’s marrying the daughter of a conservative Senator (Calista Flockhart and Gene Hackman), the charade of creating a “normal” family begins with Albert putting his cross-dressing talents to good use in an emergency. Others in this star-studded cast include Dianne Wiest, Hank Azaria, and Christine Baranski.
The Lion King (1994). Certainly, for Leo there should be at least one kids’ movie to entertain his or her considerable Inner Child. Could this be more Lion topic perfect—about a young cub who longs to be king who faces competition from his uncle? There’s also an element of Leo gold. The Lion King has been the largest grossing animated film of all time.
Virgo – The Road to Wellville (1994). This satire on 19th century health habits is as timely today as it was back then, especially for the Virgo who will admit to obsessing on the subject. The all-star cast includes Matthew Broderick, Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Dana Carvey, and John Cusack.
Monk TV show (2002). Meet or revisit the defective detective, played by Tony Shaloub. Monk is so Virgo; he’ll make your Virgo planets squirm while they’re laughing. This show had a great ensemble cast. It’s set in San Francisco and wonderfully quirky.
Libra – Adam’s Rib (1949). Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn play lawyers married to each other who end up on opposing sides of a spousal attempted murder case, and it’s murder on their relationship that was sweet, till then. One of my favorite movies of all time.
It’s Complicated (2009). Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin are ex-spouses, Jack and Jane Adler, who accidentally wind up back in bed together—which complicates everything, including Jane’s relationship with the new man in her life, played by Steve Martin.
Scorpio – Young Frankenstein (1979). One of the funniest movies ever written, Mel Brooks takes the classic creepy tale to places no one would ever imagine. With company like Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman, Terry Garr and Cloris Leachman, how could it be anything but goofy?
M*A*S*H (1970). It’s classic. It’s dark comedy with sexy shenanigans. Army doctors patch up the wounded in a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital unit in the Korean War, only to send them out to be shot full of holes again. While most of us are more familiar with the TV version that came after it (also a great rent), this movie fun to revisit as the template for what followed on television. Stars Elliott Gould, Donald Southerland, Tom Skeritt, Robert Duvall, Sally Kellerman—an another unforgettable ensemble cast.
Rupert Everett, My Best Friend's Wedding
It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.
Sagittarius – Nash Bridges TV show (1996). Played by Don Johnson, both Don and Nash are Sagittarians on the streets of San Francisco. (I love the sequence that ran for awhile where we get to see Nash’s birth certificate.) Nash is a wisecracking underground cop who heads the Special Investigations Unit. As much a comedy as a cop show, Nash is my favorite TV show of all time, and that’s a tough call for any Mercury in Libra. I love ensemble casts, and this one is golden: Cheech Marin as Nash’s sidekick Joe Dominguez, Jeff Perry, Annette O’Toole and others too numerous to mention. Have Sag adventures in your easy chair and get ready to fall in love with a guy you can’t tame and wouldn’t want to. I cried when the series ended.
Educating Rita (1976). A modern spin on the Pygmalion story (what could be more Sag?), Julie Walters plays hairdresser Rita, who is determined to better herself. Alcoholic professor Dr. Frank Bryant (Michael Caine) becomes her reluctant tutor. She blooms, and together they learn some things about life and love.
Capricorn – Nine to Five (1980). Fed up with their sexist boss, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton indulge in revenge fantasies. Fantasy turns to reality when they think they have inadvertently poisoned him (Dabney Coleman). The ladies cook up a plot to cover their tracks and turn the good old boys’ network on its ear.
Risky Business (1983). High schooler Joel (Tom Cruise) takes advantage of his parents’ absence on a vacation to turn the family home into a brothel. He’s enterprising! A Cap executive right down to his briefs. Tom Cruise does a famous lip-synch in his skivvies that catapulted him to fame and fortune. Life imitates art once more—and big business.
Aquarius – Northern Exposure TV series (1990). It’s well-worth reliving life in Cicely, Alaska, a frosty town full of unusual individualists. They may as well have called the place Uranus on Ice. Stars Rob Morrow, Janine Turner, Barry Corbin, John Corbett and many other total characters.
Mambo Italiano (2003). This one’s a treasure about an Italian-Canadian young man, who must ultimately come out with his old-fashioned, immigrant parents, played to archetypal perfection by Paul Sorvino and Ginette Reno. Luke Kirby is so loveable as Angelo, I wanted to adopt him. This story about the pain of being different and how love ultimately breeds acceptance will warm the cockles of your heart and keep you in stitches all the way.
Pisces – Chances Are (1989). This romantic comedy and another one of my all-time faves stars Cybill Shepherd, Robert Downey Jr. and Mary Stuart Masterson in a tale about reincarnation gone slightly amuck. It explains a lot about how coming-and-going from Earth works. You get a strong intuition you’re hearing the unvarnished truth hidden in humor. People with Pisces planets will appreciate a tale about someone who wants to get into a body instead of out of one.
Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979). Graham Chapman in a peculiar British comedy about a recluctant Messiah. The ending is the funniest and most Neptunian finale I’ve ever seen—one you’ll never forget.
Don’t forget to share your faves and the sign they match!
Photo credit: © Ariwasabi - Fotolia.com
Like my movie reviews? If you haven’t read my full-length piece on Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lighting Thief, check it out. It’s a great film for Outerplanetary People. You’ll see all the major PUNCs portrayed in their mythical personae and a few others thrown in like Venus/Aphrodite.
Chiron 101: Summer School: Don’t miss your chance for a $20 discount. Early bird special of $59 ends June 1. The class is filling up, and the maximum number of students is 20. The earliest this course will be repeated is in 2012.